Disengaging, for love

My day today represents:

Valentine’s Day
Thirty-first wedding anniversary
Ash Wednesday

Love is in each of these occasions. It is love that inspires the next question:

How do we cultivate a significant non-work identity and a daily practice to disengage with that which wastes our day and to regulate our emotions for a greater sense of control, mastery and meaning in life?

I try to make it a daily practice to meditate, pray, and journal. Living involves pain. As Ernest Hemingway stated, “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” This daily practice is how I allow the light to come in. If I give up when life is not going well in mind, body, or spirit, I never learn to trust God. I cannot love anyone or life fully. I used the word “try” because lately I have allowed other activities to waste my day and modulate my emotions to being out of control. I have become too comfortable in activities and overthinking kills happiness. Period.

“Comfort is the worst addiction.” Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, and Stoic philosopher

I have become too comfortable with my addictions. One of those addictions is scrolling social media reading both the posts and the comments on those posts. Social media is an escape into conversations, nonsense, and too much information all which is long on anger, dishonesty, and stupidity rather than newsworthy, genuine entertainment, and persuasiveness. The escape that bounces quickly from one social media post or app results in unwittingly hours of wasted time and brain cells.

“The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, and Stoic philosopher

Beginning today through March 31, 2024, I am taking a sabbatical from all social media. I am ignoring the apps totally for the Lenten season through Easter. I am doing this for several reasons.

Ditching social media to concentrate on my physical health.

I have been consumed by overthinking of a pending life-altering surgery with an anticipated difficult and long recovery. I am not done with this life and this experience has made me realize how I spend my days. Isn’t that the way it goes for many people? As we face a health diagnosis like cancer or in my situation, a cancer and now potentially a second one, I wonder why it takes this situation to face our non-work identity to figure out how to master a meaningful life?

Ditching social media to re-establish the daily practice of disenging for a calm mind.

My daily practice of journaling has taken a haphazard backseat to overthinking, scrolling media, indulging in streaming services. None of these wasteful activities has brought me closer to a meaningful life. I have been replacing a calm mind with the busyness of pushing what is painful or praiseworthy with the comfort of pajamas and electronics. Why do we fall into these traps when we just want relief from our daily life? Why do we prefer blurry eyes to closing them to meditate or pray? It is easier to pick up our phones than a pen. It is easier to step into slippers than walking shoes.

Ditching social media to build up my spirit for an active life.

At the end of these next 40-plus days of not accessing social media, I will still be physically recovering from surgery, however, that doesn’t mean an inactive life. While I am ditching social media, I will be trying to ditch the overthinking and streaming comforts. What does the spirit mean? What is it? How do we access the spirit within us? These questions often arise in our work identity pain, but what about our non-work identity?

Love

I will end this post with love.

“The love that you withhold is the pain that you carry.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Poet, and American Essayist

This Emerson quote has resonated with me over the years. Ditching social media will hopefully help me in some measure to finding the answers over the next 40 plus days in mind, body, and spirit to love fully and gain a greater sense of control, mastery and meaning.

In closing, Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone whether you celebrate the day or not – celebrate you. Love to those who celebrate the Lenten season and Easter. Happy Anniversary to the love of my life, Vinny Sal.

Peace,

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY POETRY BLOG, THEOWLPOET.COM AT HTTPS://THEOWLPOET.COM/

Marinating, in the words

Featured2 Comments

In my blog post on 12/28/2023, Discipline, a gift to myself, I pondered the yin and yang between motivation and discipline. As the new year has already seen one month slip into the next, I find being alone at the forefront of discipline has left me exposed and vulnerable.

Jack Rabinow, the prolific inventor who invented machines that could recognize text, “Inventors have a low threshold of pain. Things bother them.” The same can be said of the creative whose openness and sensitivity exposes them to great pain and suffering especially when they feel their creativity is drying out. Deep interest and involvement in obscure subjects often go unrewarded, or even brings ridicule causing the creative to possibly feel isolated and misunderstood.

How do we proactively seek out, cultivate, and immerse oneself in enjoyable activities that hold personal significance and resonate with personal passions and interests?

Perhaps the most important quality, the one that is most consistently present in all creative individuals, is the ability to enjoy the process of creation for its own sake. I have recently given up the notion of writing a book or assembling a collection of poetry for book-form publication. Just like the materialism that I spoke of in my last post, January, the new Lent, abandoning the burden of my dream of being a published author because insatiable perfectionism that left me frozen in a hardened state of writing for its own sake.

The artist Eva Zeisel, who produces ceramics that were recognized by the Museum of Modern Art as masterpieces of contemporary design stated, “This idea to create something is not my aim. To be different is a negative motive, and no creative thought or created thing grows out of a negative impulse. A negative impulse is always frustrating. And to be different means ‘not like this’ and ‘not like that.’ And the ‘not like’—that’s why postmodernism, with the prefix of ‘post,’ couldn’t work. No negative impulse can work, can produce any happy creation. Only a positive one.”

Striking the impulsive balance

What truly matters to me in life? It is a question most of us ask ourselves at one time or another considering that we live in a world brimming with choices and distractions. As I navigate my own life’s complexities, identifying and embracing my core values, my passions and interests can leave little room for self-reflection.

Positive impulsivity is the practice of mindfulness – living in the moment and observing what is happening around you. I practice it through daily journaling, walking through nature. I recognize my impulsive thoughts for what they are: a thought, nothing more and nothing less. A thought in and of itself is not harmful; it is the action that follows that can be problematic. My meditative practices have taught me to stop, breathe, and live for today. They have opened up a whole new way of balancing the positive and negative impulses that Eva Zeisel speaks of.

Solitude and creativity

The genealogy of my childhood sparked a search for self-expression. I found solace in writing. Research shows a correlation between solitude and creativity. A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that social withdrawal can lead to increased creativity. Not everyone is lonely but people who tend to be alone are more innovative and produce unique ideas.

People who know me personally may believe me to be extroverted while others may find me to be the opposite. I would call myself an ambivert. One who is an intermediate between extrovert and introvert. Although I would more likely call myself an observer who determines whether to be an extrovert or introvert determinant on the situation. Given my childhood that would be called survivorship. Writing was a my outlet.

Daily appointments

I began keeping a daily appointment with myself by spending time in my office every morning to create for creativity’s sake. The word appointment in and of itself indicates work. I could use the phrase daily alarm-setting but that sounds worse. So, I researched the synonyms for the word appointment. The strongest matches from Theasauras.com were assignation, engagement, errand, gig, meet, rendezvous, session, and tryst. These synonyms sound either stuffy, risqué, or benign. Pick whichever word fits you, but I think I will stick with appointment.

passon's price This daily creative appointment may consist of writing just a few words often marinating until the next day or even longer. While those words are marinating others were ready to be born usually in unexpected moments and meanings. I no longer worry if the impulsive desire to write is a blessing or curse – the idea to create is not the aim but to immerse myself into whatever I am feeling that day through my personal passion and interest in writing.

I have also revisited my favorite authors, Emerson, Mary Oliver, Hemingway, the ancient stoics, and so many others. Seeking out the words, meditations, and meanings of great authors has wetted new motivations for my own personal significance, creativity, and purpose.

Emerson wrote, “Don’t waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.”

Whether you see yourself as creative or not, Emerson’s words still ring true in whatever your personal passions and interests. Make a daily appointment in mindfulness and give into the positive impulse to produce whatever makes you happy.

If my personal passions exposes my vulnerability and causes me to be alone in my interests, then so be it. I am allowing the words of Emerson to marinate today because today is all I have.

Peace,

17523575_1413812645308586_1733262550317851788_n

Please check out my poetry blog, TheOwlPoet.com at https://theowlpoet.com/

January, the new Lent

Featured2 Comments

In my last post, Discipline, a gift to myself, I stated that forgiveness comes first when it comes to discipline. I have learned this lesson the hard way: If we are unable to forgive ourselves and others, the weight of unforgiveness keeps us from finding harmony in mind, body, and spirit to exercise our genuine potential.

How do we find the way to forgive?

We come to it in our own time when we realize that unforgiveness (not forgetfulness) hurts us more than we realize. It is an event or a series of events in life that brings us to the continuing act of forgiveness… a diagnosis, a death, a divorce, employment separation, to name a few.

Forgiveness is easier said than done, you say. I totally agree with you. Forgiveness is ongoing despite what others may say. It is not a one and done exercise.

After all, we are human.

Yet forgiveness allows us to concentrate on what we have today and the beginning of letting go of all that prevents us from living as a purposeful human being.

A worthy response

The first question in my post on December 21, 2023, Today, weighing the balance was:

“It is not the trials and personal hardships that develop with their intent to destroy us but how we respond to those intense and sometimes painful difficulties that overwhelm us. How do we connect in mind, body, and spirit to live more intentionally today?”

Forgiveness is the spiritual response to connecting to intentional living. The letting go of what weighs us down rather than what weighs us in the balance to living a purposeful life. If this is true, then what weighs down the mind?

“Materialism is an identity crisis.” Bryant H. McGill, American Author

During my own series of personal events beginning 3 years ago was the downsizing and selling of our primary home and at the same time selling our vacation home to move to where we wanted to retire. The real estate market seemed to be at its peak so we decided to make the most of the current market. My husband and I were working remotely. Our employment was not so much a factor as much as we were moving away from our sons, family, and friends.

While it was a bit scary to move on many levels, the timing of selling and moving could not have been better. The decision paid off handsomely although I would never recommend downsizing 27 years of stuff, selling 2 homes, buying another home across state much less during a pandemic. The process however of downsizing, discarding, and donating was cathartic.

The burden of all that ‘stuff’

Per “U.S. Self-Storage Industry Statistics” by Al Harris, January 27, 2023, from SquareFoot.com, we store 6.1 square feet of stuff per person with 11.1% of households that rent storage stuff as the SquareFoot.com graphic below depicts:

Screenshot 2024-01-03 094511
Anyone can see as they travel any expressway or now through suburban and rural areas the number of storage facilities that are springing up over the landscape. The last couple of decades has shown us our inability to let go of our stuff. The article states that the occupancy rate is declining, however, now that the pandemic has ended. The pandemic created a surge in demand. I would assume it was due to the necessity for making room for all those remote office and school desks. Could it be people are now evaluating the necessity for all of this stuff?

We never rented storage outside our homes until we had to move and wait for our new home to be remodeled. Since moving almost 3 years ago, I have never thought, “Gee, I wish I would have kept…” because I do not remember what it was that I donated or trashed. There was just so much of it! In fact, there are still boxes in our current downstairs storage area that I have yet to open.

January is giving up all that ‘stuff’

In the Christian faith, the Lenten season is a time when many Christians give up something in preparation to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ on Easter. It is an act of self-control to follow Christ more faithfully. The Lenten season starts this year on Ash Wednesday, February 14, 2024. I am not waiting until the official Lenten season to begin. I am beginning in January.

All worthy endeavors

I am not only purging the material stuff that I have not looked at since we moved almost 3 years ago, but I am also letting go of outdated ideas and aspirations that keep me from intentionally living today in mind, body, and spirit. For example, if a book that I purchased is not engaging me, I will quit reading it. I would will myself into continuing to read books I had purchased in sympathy for the authors who may have willed themselves to write their book. Unread books will be posted on my online bookstore for someone else to purchase or donate it to a worthy cause.

I am also letting myself off the hook of authoring my own book. The continuous re-writing book drafts was exhausting because I would give in to my perfectionist and attention-deficit tendencies. My writing journals and poetry collections will be my legacy to my sons. They can decide to do with them whatever they please even if it is to burn them. This does not mean I find my writing unworthy. It means I am simply enjoying the art of writing.

Whatever weighs us down in our mind and in our spirit undoubtedly weighs on our body. The stress of unforgiveness, the stress of maintaining a materialistic life,… the burden of stress itself creates a diseased body. A worthy response to all the trials and personal hardships is within our control – giving up all that stuff to faithfully live an intentional life of purpose and joy.

Peace and love in the New Year!

17523575_1413812645308586_1733262550317851788_n

Discipline, a gift to myself

Featured2 Comments

It is said that motivation draws one to what they desire, and discipline drags one to it. I ponder the yin and yang between motivation and discipline – positivity versus negativity. Which one produces the best sustained results?

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, and Stoic Philosopher

As I endeavor to answer the questions I asked in my last post, I am gifting myself this new year – discipline.

“Discipline is more reliable than motivation. One is consistent the other is fleeting.” – Shane Parrish, entrepreneur, New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and investor.

Weighing Discipline

“Whoever practices discipline is on the way to life, but whoever ignores a warning strays.” – Proverbs 10:17 (GW)

Forgiveness must come first. It is an action, not a feeling. Forgiveness is a conscious decision that takes a disciplined effort, otherwise, forgiveness becomes a weapon. The sting of unforgiveness cauterizes not just the soul but also the mind that causes the body to become chronically ill.

How are we able to forgive?

Forgiveness is not choosing to remember. Betrayals made silent are resurrected in revenge because there is always the residual pain that ignites the anger that was once crammed or tucked neatly away in our memory. True forgiveness does not remain silent but seeks active healing of a grieved heart.

Forgiveness is an essential part of life.

Imperfect people populate our imperfect world. No one escapes failure and at one time or another we fail to live up to the expectations of others as others fail to live up to our own. Once we learn there is no perfect relationship, forgiveness bridges the barrier of betrayal and allows us to strengthen our relationships. Forgiveness takes discipline and the strength of character to lay down the weaponry of revenge and take-up the cross of forgiveness – because at some point we too will need someone’s forgiveness.

a summers dream 12.28.23

I will start each day with the strength of character I can muster to disengage myself from the activity of unforgiveness which wastes my time to live intentionally and end my day with the discipline of forgiveness. Tough love, sweet dreams.

Peace,

17523575_1413812645308586_1733262550317851788_n

Today, weighing in the balance

Featured2 Comments

2024 comes with a new theme for the New Year – Weighing Today in the Balance.

The Blogging Owl will be posting on how to make conscious choices to experience a more purposeful, balanced and rewarding life each day.

2024 Blog 12.20.23 Photo

Weighing today in the balance is carefully assessing the merits of how we spend our day.

It is not the trials and personal hardships that develop with their intent to destroy us but how we respond to those intense and sometimes painful difficulties that overwhelm us. How do we connect in mind, body, and spirit to live more intentionally today?
How do we deliberately shift our mindset to perceive and derive meaning from various aspects of work and life?
How do we cultivate a significant non-work identity and a daily practice to disengage with that which wastes our day and to regulate our emotions for a greater sense of control, mastery and meaning in life?
How do we prioritize time with loved ones or with oneself, engaging in meaningful pursuits that promote supportive, positive, and social connections in a relaxing and creative environment?
How do we set clear boundaries to invest in personally rewarding and meaningful experiences?
How do we proactively seek out, cultivate, and immerse oneself in enjoyable activities that hold personal significance and resonate with personal passions and interests?
How do we rejuvenate and inspire goal pursuits in other areas of life that instill a sense of accomplishment and confidence?
How do we develop and engage in challenging projects and capitalize on one’s strengths to minimize setbacks and maximize increased self-awareness and a sense of capability for today?
How do we restructure our daily tasks or life elements in ways that resonate deeply with our inner drives and aspirations, finding meaning within activities for a more purpose-driven and rewarding life today?
How do we create healthy time boundaries between essential and non-essential tasks to invest our energy where it matters most?
How do we involve making conscious choices that lead to a more purposeful, balanced and rewarding life?
How do we start with introspection which prompts us to confront limiting beliefs and explore alternative, more empowering perspectives?
How do we alter our day to better support our needs and align our core values to create a better life that is truly meaningful?
How do we practice empathy toward others and toward ourselves?
How do we own up to our own mistakes?
How can we genuinely be happy for others?
How do we become active listeners?
How do we help others without expecting anything in return?
How do we show respect to everyone?
How are we able to forgive?
How can we be honest with tact?
How do we strive to be better today?
How do we express the essence of goodness today?
How do we embrace our values with direction and purpose?
How do we embrace our values with renewed passion?
How do we embrace our values with self-improvement?
How do we embrace our values to connect with others on a more authentic and profound level?

My chosen words to live in (see my post on November 2, 2023) are vulnerability, worthy, and forgiveness. As I stated in that post, the lesson to carry forward in 2024 is to retain the lessons of the past year and release all else. In mind, body, and spirit whether in good health or sick , we only have today. We are doing our best at any given moment on any given day. In 2024, I am going to do my best to make every moment be weighed in the balance of goodness, kindness, self-control, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, peace, and love – the eight spiritual wells for quiet thriving.

Peace and Love in the New Year!

17523575_1413812645308586_1733262550317851788_n

A Christmas Letter, gratitude

FeaturedLeave a comment

It is that time of year when Christmas holiday cards and letters arrive. I enjoy receiving the photos and the letters updating me on the past year’s experiences and milestones of my family and friends.

Per Hallmark, the greeting card company, approximately 1.6 billion cards will be mailed or given by Americans this holiday season. The average household receives twenty holiday cards during the Christmas holiday season. It is difficult to imagine that volume of holiday wishes, tidings of joy, and positivity, especially in today’s world. But today’s world really is not any different than the worlds gone by.

This year card-giving etiquette is expanding to online cards and greetings. I am not certain how I feel about electronic wishes, but here is my Christmas holiday letter to family, friends, and followers.

A Christmas Letter, gratitude

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Gratitude is the foundation for overall well-being in mind, body, and spirit. I want to share with you my gratitude for this past year.

On February 14th, my husband and I celebrated 30 years of marriage. Marriage is not easy even for soulmates. In our case we were two broken pieces made whole by the other. Cracks, no matter how well pieces are cemented they are still fragile. I am grateful for 30 years of love and devotion which included the gifts of two beautiful sons. I am grateful for a husband who takes exceptional care of our family.

In March, our first son turned twenty-seven years old. I am grateful for my oldest son’s compassion and how he sees the world through his art as a photographer. He has followed his passion as product photographer, photo editor and e-commerce specialist for a national eyewear company. His personal photography has begun to find its place in galleries and purchased by private clients. His work as an artist has shown me a new perspective of the world.

In April, our youngest son celebrated 25 years of age. His intelligence and inquisitive mind have kept me apprised of current world events, special causes, Formula-1 racing, and in his work as a commercial specialty insurance underwriter for a national insurance carrier. He is continuing his master’s education and licensing. I am grateful for his dedication to his nonprofit passions to make this a better world and to his career.

I am grateful for my sister, my brother, and their extended family for helping with the care of my 85-year-old mother. They have taken upon the bulk of her care because I am unable to due physical distance and my own health challenges.

Barkley, Editor in Chief and Supervisory Editor (2) Penny BW (2) My two editors, senior dogs, Penny, and Barkley passed away in June and November. I am grateful for their unconditional love over the past 11 years. They taught me so many lessons of love, joy, and the pleasure of play.

In honoring their loss, I have created Penny’s Pet Bereavement Services as a certified bereavement specialist in the area of pet loss. Who knew such a thing existed, but I am grateful for those in my pet rescue and pet services pack that guided me to serving others who will or have lost a pet. It has given me a new purpose with clients locally, nationally and in Europe. Our love for pets is unique and so is grieving unique. You can find Penny’s Pet Bereavement Services on Facebook.

pups 2 I am grateful to my two editors and pups, Carmela, and Johnny, as they are my source of daily joy (and sometimes terrorism). They are my constant companions and walking friends. We live in a wonderful and supportive community here by Lake Michigan with its beautiful beaches and parks. We enjoy exploring our environment.

In October, we welcomed the news of a wedding proposal! Our youngest son and his partner are planning a wedding in October 2024. We are so grateful that our son has found his soulmate. We love the person whom he is marrying. I am grateful that our family is expanding. I promised them that I would be the best mother-in-law ever!

November found me in the operating room for abdominal pain and exploratory reasons. Unfortunately, the news is not a simple cure. I am currently seeking second opinions with my oncology teams. I retired at the end of March because my resistant to leukemia treatment made it difficult to managing the stress of full-time work even remotely. Yet, I am grateful for the resistance to leukemia treatment for had I not been I may not have found the pancreatic pre-cancerous cells invading my bile ducts before it was too late. The course of treatment is still up in the air, but I am so grateful for the intelligence, diligence, and care of my healthcare teams. I am also grateful for good healthcare insurance.

Why am I being so transparent with my health and the gratitude I am feeling for my family and my community?

I want everyone to know there is purpose in all our situations to help others if only we remember one thing. We all have one thing in common whether we are sick or healthy in mind, body, and spirit. We only have today. Live it!

You are more important to me than an annual holiday letter written all about me and my family. The only holiday gift I am asking is that we stay in touch with each other more often throughout the year. Our annual cards and letters next year will only include the gratitude we have for our relationship and the memories we have created together even if it simply by telephone, online, or Zoom.

In closing,

Why is the Christmas holiday season celebrated at the end of the year?

In my opinion, it is because it gives us the time to look back on our year in gratitude and gives us hope for tomorrow and into the new year. Gratitude builds our resiliency to face whatever dire situation befalls us and fosters a sense of well-being especially if we shift our focus to just today. As our world changes be open to the changes in your life and meet them head on with gratitude and purpose.

I am grateful for all of you who read and follow The Blogging Owl. This blog also gives me purpose and I hope you find value in reading it.

Let us all find harmony and balance in mind, body, and spirit to find the potential within us for today.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Journaling, a fresh perspective

FeaturedLeave a comment

There are scores of books, classes, and internet sites devoted to journaling – the how to’s, the different journal formats, the benefits, the prompts to get one started, developing the daily habit, etc. I have written several blog posts and conducted classes on journaling. So, what is new that I can share about creating the daily habit of journaling that will be of value to you?

A fresh perspective on the lasting legacy of journaling.

Journaling, a fresh perspective

The core intention of meditation is to release thoughts and feelings that keep us stuck in our self-absorption. There are some people who can meditate through other means than journaling. They are able to release those self-absorbing thoughts and feelings through the exhale of physical exertion or some other hobby or activity.

Unfortunately, there are people who like me repress thoughts and feelings which we tend to avoid because they are uncomfortable for us. The daily habit for those who can write ourselves through it can get ourselves unstuck and tackle the thoughts and feelings that make us uncomfortable. While many people like me find writing is cathartic, others find their release by sketching, painting, or photography as their journal format. Whatever the medium one may choose to journal, I find journaling the best way to meditate because it is a legacy that can be I can return to show how far I have come from my self-absorption and how comfortable I now am in the middle of a crisis or wholesomely separating myself from a chaotic world.

I know fellow journal writers who have named their journals like an alter ego. The artist, Beyonce’ introduced her alter ego, Sasha Fierce in a double album. Beyonce’ explained that her alter ego, Sasha Fierce was her more timid personality than her confident onstage persona. I also have an alter ego that I also write from occasionally – Jenny Curan, however, my journal is referred to as a prayer journal because I often write personal letters to God, or I expect God to direct the outcome of whatever I am expressing. It is the “pour(ing) (my) heart out like water in the presence of the Lord…” Lamentations 2:19 (GW).

Journaling, the goal setting for healing

Journaling is not always in complete sentences. Often journal entries are fragments, poetry in process, ideas I need to explore for healing in mind, body, and spirit.

I found this post on Facebook (I don’t know who posted it; but if they are reading this, I will update my blog post to give them credit as I had written the following in my prayer journal some time ago):

Healing will make you realize this:

Some people can’t give you what you need
You don’t need closure or an apology to move on
Not everyone will like or accept who you are
Some emotional baggage was never yours carry
You can still love people and keep them at a distance
Seeking love where it isn’t available only hurts you

I would also add my own bullet-points:

Being your true self is more important in mind, body, and spirit than what people see on your ‘sleeve’ (see the third and fourth bullet points above)
Forgiveness is in your control – keep the doors closed while keeping a window open for fresh air – not everyone changes but you can (refer to the fifth bullet point above)
Learning to love all the parts of you rather than in someone else is worth all the mistakes to getting to this point (refer to the second and the sixth bullet-points above)
Allow yourself to lean on those who want to give you all the positive things you need – harmony of mind, body, and spirit to spark the potential within you (refer to the first bullet point above)
Love finds you. Period.

I might not have learned all of the truth above had it not been for years of journaling and writing my way through it whether it was the confident me or Jenny. The legacy I will leave behind written on all those journal pages is a person determined to finally have gained harmony in mind, body, and spirit.

**If you are considering a special holiday present for someone or even for yourself, consider the purchase of a journal with quality pens, pastel or lead pencils, watercolor or acrylic paints, camera film or a photo processing subscription.**

Peace, writing my way through it

Blog - Owl Photo

Happy Thanksgiving

Featured1 Comment

I am grateful for all who follow The Blogging Owl. May you all have a healthy and happy Thanksgiving in mind, body, and spirit.

The Owl

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

2024 – Words to live by

Featured1 Comment

“Life is not just about peaks and valleys, about wins and losses. Life is about the journey. You hear that all the time. You’ve got to absorb that. You’ve got to know that. The journey must become the destination because there is no true destination. There is no endpoint. There is no goal. All rivers run to the sea and yet the sea is not full. Life goes on; accept what life gives you. The sun rises the morning after you win the championship or lose in the first round.”

— Paul Assaiante, Run to the Roar

My words to live by in 2023 that I added to my list of words that matter – patience, independence, stories – taught me what I need to do for myself. In these words, to live by for 2023, I referred to patience towards others when patience with myself too is just as important. Independence was to separate myself from all that did not bring value to my life. In some respects, I was successful, however, becoming independent from the internal negative emotions is crucial to spark positive potential within me. I heard and read many other’s stories this year that helped me to understand the importance of my own story. The importance of my own story informs the words I have selected to add to the words that matter list (see above page, Words that Matter) and to live by them in 2024.

Why do I share these words publicly?

Vulnerability is a strength. Showing vulnerability is often difficult. We are not alone in this life. If there is something I find rewarding or challenging in this life that helps me to understand it better perhaps it may help you too. “Life is not just about peaks and valleys, about wins and losses. Life is about the journey. You hear that all the time. You’ve got to absorb that. You’ve got to know that.”

What outcome am I hoping for?

To personally find the spark of potential within myself to bring harmony in mind, body, and spirit, and perhaps you will find yours too. Vulnerability is the journey. It can be scary. Yet it is better than getting to the end of your life and realizing that you didn’t show up or be seen. “The journey must become the destination because there is no true destination. There is no endpoint. There is no goal.”

What emotions am I experiencing?

Others may see themselves in my emotions or in my writing. They may not. Either way perhaps they will understand and take notice as to how they react to these emotions when they see them in others or themselves. “All rivers run to the sea and yet the sea is not full. Life goes on; accept what life gives you.”

What unmet needs am I trying to meet?

Validation. My experiences matter. Your experiences matter. “The sun rises the morning after you win the championship or lose in the first round.”

2024 – Words to live by

The following words will be exploratory themes in 2024.

Vulnerability

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” —Brene’ Brown, PhD, MSW, Professor and Writer

The specific vulnerability definition per Dictionary.com: willingness to allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known; willingness to risk being emotionally hurt.

The foundation for open communication consists of honesty, trust, and vulnerability. We may be honest and even trusting to a degree, but fully allowing ourselves to be truly vulnerable is often the most difficult step to open communication. What helps us to take that step to our birthplace?

Worthy

Why does he shun the limelight? He was asked. David Jones, Welsh Poet and Watercolorist replied, “that a degree of isolation is necessary as a poet and painter, …to discover the forms of which I myself are made.”

Per Dictionary.com: of commendable excellence or merit; deserving of one’s time, attention, interest, work, trouble, etc.

We believe we are not enough because our worth needs to be constantly earned. We pursue external identity markers that we think are important in order for us to be worthy. When we start with a sense of well-being and inherent self-worth, then the doing, achieving, and acquiring emerges from our authentic core, not from a sense of lack in any way. What is this sense of well-being mean so we can leverage it? How do we access this inherent self-worth?

Forgiveness

“Those who tell the stories, rule the world.” —American Indian Proverb

Per Dictionary.com: disposition or willingness to forgive.

We tell our individual stories every day. Great storytelling builds better relationships. I believe the business of forgiveness is woven in each great story that builds these better relationships. Our experiences require it. Yet those who begrudge the business of forgiveness, these are steps to facilitate forgiveness. Face the pain. Put oneself in the shoes of another to build empathy skills. And then finally, forgive with all the strength that you must let go to move on. How do we start this process to make it stick? What does it look like to let go and move on?

Vulnerability. Worthy. Forgiveness.

Summer Lakeside Something we all need to remember is that we are doing our best at any given moment. The lesson to carry into 2024 for me at least is to retain the lessons but release all else. Each of us, whether healthy or sick in mind, body, and spirit only have today. What I do today will be weighed in the balance (Job 31:6). At the end of each day, I visualize releasing a dove with an olive branch into the universe so peace and love may be returned to me.

What words are you considering for the new year?

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Fatigue, the burden of anger

FeaturedLeave a comment

Anger is the impulse to pass it onto others. What is this anger? Where does it come from?

Anger is a signal that cannot be escaped from or suppressed. What purpose does anger serve? Does it come from a sense of passion seeking betterment, growth, love, enhancement, fulfillment? Or does it come from a negative purpose that senses some kind of deficiency to rectify a wrong?

Very often anger is the result of beliefs that have led to unreasonable demands on circumstances. Giving up the wrong of what has been done or deficiency and accepting it is not easy. Acceptance is difficult because oftentimes anger has been suppressed in every nook and cranny of the soul. It appears without notice until it is too late. The resulting damage is already being done.

The world will always be indifferent, so anger continues to be carried out. It carries one down into passivity and inertia. The feelings of hopelessness and helplessness turn into depression and self-pity. It is anger’s manipulative strategy that keeps one from pursuing a positive and constructive passion for goodness.

Pick any topic – guns, individual rights and freedoms, religion, culture, race – the burden of anger is fatigue. We are too tired to care anymore. How does one become motivated under this burden of anger to pursue fulfillment despite the unfairness that exists? The world will never be fair.

Anger creates a cycle of rage and defeatism. Ask the rape victim. Ask the sexually and emotionally abused child. Ask a minority. Ask about persecuted culture. Anger is what motivates a depressed person or people to lash out and create war with not only their perpetrators but with innocents as well.

All anger if it is repressed, suppressed, or expressed is seemingly toxic. How does one survive one’s anger or someone else’s anger?

The English poet, William Blake wrote, “The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.”

Psychology says that anger is a normal and adaptive response to an attack or threat. It has been useful in our evolutionary struggle for survival. Yet the chaos in the world, our very communities, suggests that anger is being spun out of control.

If well-directed anger, stemming from clarity of thought can get through to others more effectively than mere platitudes suggests anger then is not always toxic; as expressed earlier, if it fuels a sense of passion for seeking growth and goodness.

Many, including myself, are suffering from the burden of anger. As a culture we once feared anger but scroll through the comments of any social media posts and you will read the toxicity of anger. It seems we have lost the filters of yesterday’s generations. Is that what it means to make America great again? Suppress it, repress it, but just don’t express it because expressing it makes it too easy for victims to have their voice.

I am not suggesting anger is or isn’t necessary. Anger protects our dignity and self-respect. We can also choose or not to be offended. Anger is essential to taking seriously those who have wronged us holding them as adults responsible for their choices and actions. Anger is an essential part of combatting and righting injustice if it is well-directed with clarity of thought and action.

American poet, Maya Angelou wrote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

The burden of anger comes from being tired of thinking about it, facing it, and dealing with it. The acceptance of anger demands we become vulnerable to it. Vulnerability like acceptance is not an easy feeling to experience. Personally, I think it is more difficult than acceptance. Yet there cannot be acceptance without becoming vulnerable to the reasons for our anger. The last step is forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not mean we forget why we have carried this burden of anger; it simply means we can take the burden off our shoulders. Being free from the burden of anger motivates us to scour it from our soul. We can reset our anger to being adaptive as nature intended, setting boundaries as necessary, and fueling a purpose for good.

My fatigue is evident. This post is a stream of consciousness as I consider this burden of anger in mind, body, and spirit. I pray for humanity around the world to find peace.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

P.S.
As I have done every year since 2017, I have been considering my words to live by for the new year, 2024. I will be posting my new words to add to my list of words in the coming weeks. In the meantime, go to the top of this page and over to, A Matter of Words and click on each year’s three words to read the post for that year’s words.

BOOK REVIEW: MAYBE

Featured1 Comment

I loved reading with my two sons when they were growing up. All of their children’s books are now saved in plastic totes for when future grandchildren may be able to enjoy them. My sons are now in their mid-twenties and sometimes when they visit us, they open one of the plastic totes to read one of their cherished children’s books again. My sons will comment on the fond memories reading these books with mom and dad.

It is with great care that I continue to select and stow away new children’s books for my sons and my future grandchildren to discover. My latest purchase is a children’s book with a timeless message not only for children but adults too. It is a story about endless potential in all of us.

Book Review: maybe, written by Kobi Yamada and illustrated by Gabriella Barouch

From inside the front book jacket:

“You are the only you there ever has been or ever will be. You are unique. Just the odds of you being here at this exact place and this exact time are so great and so rare that they will never happen again.

This is a story about everything you will do and everything you could be. It’s for who you are right now, and it’s for all the magical, unbounded potential you hold inside.”

I was drawn to this beautiful over-sized book that is meant to be held by mom, dad, or that special adult along with a child to read together. The beauty of reading to a child is that you witness how not only reading to a child, but how the book’s message is received by the child. The illustrations help capture the imagination of the child to bring home a timeless and endearing message that the child much potential within themselves and that they matter in this world. They can even endure and persevere when things do not work out in the way they intended. Sharing this book with a child lets them know you believe in them too.

maybe’s message is a source of comfort for a child of any age including a college student. Even I found comfort between the pages as on this page, “Maybe you are here to help in ways that only you can?” The book, maybe will be a book that will remain at the top of my gift-giving list.

The beautiful book, maybe earns a heartfelt 5-Hoot Rating!

“Maybe, just maybe, you will exceed your wildest dreams…”

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

P.S. Please consider ordering this book from your favorite local independent bookseller. Basis for my reviews and ratings can be found on the BOOK REVIEWS AND HOOT RATINGS page on this website.

REVIEW: Atlas Of The Heart

FeaturedLeave a comment

Over the years I have sought out mental healthcare. I had been blessed with a wonderful psychologist and a psychiatrist over these years. This past year I once again sought the care of a therapist to assist me with navigating the turbulence of leukemia treatment as it related to the cognitive issues I was experiencing. Eventually, I decided to retire this past spring from full-time employment to concentrate on my physical and mental health. In one of my discussions with the therapist, we talked about the different mental healthcare therapies and notable experts on assorted topics.

Book Review: Atlas of the Heart, by Brene’ Brown Phd, MSW

Afterward I researched Brene’ Brown PhD, MSW and her professional research work on vulnerability and shame among other emotions. I was drawn to her #1 New York Times bestseller, Atlas of the Heart, Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience, published by Random House Books, ©2021. It is a beautifully published book with a coffee table style quality.

From the inside front book jacket:

“In her latest book, five-time #1 New York Times bestselling author Brene’ Brown writes, “If we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and be stewards of the stories that we hear. This is the framework for meaningful connection.

“…Atlas of the Heart draws on (two decades of research), as well as Brown’s singular skills as a storyteller, to show us how accurately naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power – it gives the power of understanding, meaning, and choice.”

This book was the first book in this genre where the author delicately inserted their own experiences, thoughts, and feelings on her research to the topic. Brene’ Brown’s storytelling adds an element that engages the author with the reader to convey the research information through her own experiences as well as the respondents from her team’s research. Anyone that is new or like me familiar with seeking out their own mental health care will rejoice with not only the valuable research she shares but how she shares it with the reader.

I had read only half of this book when I took the book to my next therapy session. I told my therapist, “After reading just a portion of this book, I realized that I may have missed my calling in my life. God must be furious at me for missing my purpose.” She replied, “It is never too late to start.” Inwardly I thought, “Yea, right! But it is too late.” After reading the rest of the book, I realized that it wasn’t too late to have practice the power and the courage to walk alongside. (More on this dialogue in a future blogging owl post.)

As I mentioned before, the book is published with coffee table book quality using white space for easy-reading and colorful illustrations to depict concepts and research data in ways that are both interesting and thought provoking. I have gifted this book to two family members who often exclaim that they are not interested in any self-help style books (their words not mine). One of them has already thanked me for giving him this book as he can see that it will help him with mapping out his emotional language. I am just overjoyed that he at least took the initiative to begin reading it.

No matter the adult age, I believe everyone can benefit from this exquisitely written book. As the author states, “we are the mapmakers and the travelers” of our own human experience. Suffice it to say there wasn’t anything I did not like about this book. It will remain in my personal library as a precious reference manual.

Bene’ Brown’s, Atlas of the Heart earns an enthusiastic 5-Hoot Rating!

It definitely exceeded my expectations within its genre and content value. I highly recommend buying this book for yourself and gifting a copy to those you love.

“Brown shares, “I want this book to be an atlas for all of us, because I believe that, with an adventurous hear and the right maps, we can travel anywhere and never fear losing ourselves.”

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

P.S. Please consider ordering this book from your favorite local independent bookseller. Basis for my reviews and ratings can be found on the BOOK REVIEWS AND HOOT RATINGS page on this website.

Therapy, walking it out

Featured3 Comments

In my last post, I announced that for the month of August I was challenging myself to walk 6,000 steps every day. It is halfway through the month of August now. I have not walked every day due to weather, schedule, or pain; however, over the first 15 days, I have averaged 5,816 steps per day.

On the nature trail

I particularly love walking in the woods at the park whether it is my neighborhood wooded park or the state park.

The elderly couple who lost their dog earlier this year now carry a bag of bacon Beggin’ strips to hand out to the dogs they meet along the path. Each time they vaguely remember Carmela and me only to tell us the same story again of the loss of their pet.

A woman who introduced herself as Theresa and her poodle-mix, Penny whom she carries more than allows to walk. As we walked, she told me of her two divorces to two veterans who grew up in the area although she is from Georgia and had lived in Germany for two years with one of her now exes. I enjoyed her stories, and we ended our time together with her giving me her personal card with phone number and email address. She said most times when she hands her card to people she meets along the trail, she never hears from them again. I plan on contacting her to join us occasionally on our walks.

There are experienced walkers, bicyclists, skateboarders who know the unwritten etiquette rules of approaching and passing others on the trail or path, and then there are others who are oblivious to others enjoyment. The sneakers and the loud talkers. The people who sneak up on you without announcing their approach are usually on bikes and then wonder why I am slowing them down. The loud talkers who travel in twos or packs that stop in the middle of the path blocking those who would like to move through without dodging bike tires and hand gestures. I usually wait behind them until they eventually move along to protect Carmela.

When I am aware of people approaching from behind or ahead of me, Carmela is commanded to sit by my side until they pass by. Dog manners are important especially when people want to pet dogs they do not know. When strangers, children, or other dog owners’ approach, I do not know their history with dogs or their dog. Are they scared of dogs? Have they had a bad experience with dogs? Do they have preconceived ideas about breed mixes? Do their dogs get along with other dogs? Dog manners protect everyone (including appropriate leashes and properly taking care of pet waste).

While Carmela is sitting, I allow certain children and adults to pet her, but I instruct them to approach slowly, holding out their hand to allow Carmela to sniff while I am crouching next to her, and then I allow them to pet her advising them not to put their faces too close to Carmela’s face. Carmela is a friendly dog; however, she is still a dog. Dogs can be spooked by sudden moves or loud voices. Dogs and kids can be unpredictable.

Meeting nature

The best meditation walk is early in the morning or early evening with fewer people to share the trail or path and the woods are just waking up and the wildlife begins to appear.

The peace of the woods is a drug. I am easily transported to a peaceful place in mind, body, and spirit. The deer seem to silently float through the trees. Chipmunks that race atop the logs, the bird choir, and the squirrels that dodge and dart patrolling the woods, the herons, and otters along the riverbanks, and the scent of the evergreens, the white pine, the oaks and the maples all living side by side is magical and intoxicating.

Nature walks are the best therapy drug.

I take pictures and wildlife videos of my walks and incorporate them into my journal reflections. As the seasons change, I can reflect on how nature changes as well as how I have changed. Journaling in general has always been the best therapy but incorporating my reflections from these meditative nature walks over the past weeks has brought that therapy to a new level of stress relief in mind, body, and spirit to setting new goals (which I will be writing about in my next blog post) for harmony in wellness.

Until next time…

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Walking, 6,000 step challenge

Featured2 Comments

On The Blogging Owl Facebook page, I created an event for the month of August to achieve 6,000 steps each day. 6,000 steps equate to 2.5 miles. I created this event to help keep me accountable for walking 1-2 miles per day and to keep moving throughout the day to achieve a total of 6,000 daily steps.

The Mayo Clinic states the average American walks 3,000 to 4,000 steps per day, or roughly 1.5 to 2 miles. They suggest that however many steps a day you walk now should be used as a baseline. Then working up toward the goal of 10,000 steps by aiming to add 1,000 extra steps a day every two weeks.

All summer I have been attempting to instill the habit of daily walking. My production editor, Carmela has been a good walking companion and we both reap the rewards of harmony in mind, body, and spirit after our walk. Unfortunately, my health keeps me from daily walking due to leukemia arthritis, muscle, and bone pain; but I keep trying because ironically movement does help with the pain. We soldier on with the length of our walks and different activities to achieve physical and mental fitness for the both of us.

Carmela, my walking companion.

Carmela SMC and Production Editor (2) Over the last few months, I have found products that have helped both Carmela and I enjoy our walks together. Carmela will be two years old in October (she gave me permission to divulge her age) and was trained over the course of 10 weeks through the prison training program at www.RPSM.org. She is a good walker. Carmela sits or lays down when anyone passes by either on foot or on a bicycle. I encourage this behavior to let others know she is polite and well-behaved. It is also for her protection from those who do not ask for permission to pet other people’s dogs. It is a signal for others to ask permission.

Walking product review #1: No Pull Harness Lead by Harness Lead

Even with Carmela’s training, she can still pull on the leash when a chipmunk decides to make a fast getaway across the pathway head of us, or when other untrained dogs decide to lung at her. In my research for the perfect walking lead, I found the “Harness Lead No Pull Harness and Leash Set. It is a one-piece anti-pull dog harness for all breeds and sizes cushioned rope design that safely prevents escaping and pulling.

“The owner and inventor of Harness Lead, Lisa Bray Flynn, formerly a shelter volunteer, spent countless hours in the company of homeless dogs. She faced the need to fit all the different body types in the shelter, prevent the problem of scared/skittish dogs backing out of the harnesses and collars and reducing the pulling of dogs with pent up energy in a gentle and humane way.”

“We offer wholesale pricing for animal shelters and 501c3 rescue groups with a minimum order of 12. Go to Wholesale page to apply for a wholesale account!”

– From the website, www.HarnessLead.com

The leash is handcrafted in the U.S.A. in a variety of colors. The leash is available on Amazon for $33.00. Please see the videos on Amazon and on the http://www.HarnessLead.com website. I encourage you to visit their website for additional cool products.

I purchased an orange reflective harness leash for Carmela. The harness is easy and quick to put on Carmela which is a bonus. I like the material and the length of the leash. Walking has definitely become a more comfortable experience for the both of us. The Blogging Owl gives this product a 5-Hoot Rating!

Walking product review #2: DogBuddy Portable Dog Poop Scooper

Carmela and I participated in the local kid and pet parade on July 4th. Due to the heat and excitement, Carmela left a soft pile (and she would have me note that she did this by human porta-potty). It was a bit difficult to scoop up with the traditional plastic bag over the hand maneuver leaving some of her poo on my hand (Yck!). There has to be a better way to take care of her business.

Dog Buddy 2 I found the DogBuddy Portable Dog Poop Scooper, Sanitary Waste Pick-Up, Heavy-Duty Cleaner with Dispenser, Leash Clip and Pooper Scooper Bags Included.” It is a portable pooper scooper that clips on the dog’s leash or your backpack. Integrated into the DogBuddy is an integrated waste bag compartment using standard rolls (Amazon reviewers have also commented that they use grocery bags rolled up inside this compartment too.) The backside of the DogBuddy expands to adjust the size of the poop pile so you can get it all in one scoop. It is an effective design to remove dog waste from any surface without using your hands.

The DogBuddy can be purchased on Amazon for $13.99 or by visiting www.bestdogbuddy.com. The DogBuddy comes in medium and large. Videos on using this product are available on Amazon and on their website. The Blogging Owl gives this product a 5-Hoot Rating!

My walking essentials.

Backpack 1 I like using my Fjällräven backpack because it is the right size, has plenty of pockets and is sturdy. Inside I have a bottle of CORE water, collapsible water bowl, my iPhone, tissues, and the DogBuddy clipped to the outside of the backpack. My Apple watch has my medical alert tag on the watchband with emergency instructions (Stainless Steel Customized Alert ID tag with for Apple watchbands available on Amazon for $17.99). Comfortable walking shoes, breathable socks, and weather appropriate walking clothes round out my walking essentials and Carmela, of course!

I will be posting my daily steps on The Blogging Owl Facebook page. I hope you will join me in this fitness challenge in mind, body, and spirit to spark the potential within!

Come on, Carmela! Let’s Go!

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

P.S. Download the Steps to Miles Calculator to your phone at www.omnicalculator.com.

2023 Words to Live By, an update

FeaturedLeave a comment

We are halfway through 2023 and it is time to review the first 6 months of my 3 words to live by for this year. My blog post, https://thebloggingowl.com/2022/11/15/2023-words-to-live-by/….. reviewed my words to live by list to which I added words – patience, independent, and stories – for 2023.

Patience

In my previous 3 Words to Live By post, I asked the question, is patience a virtue? Patience is an admirable quality when we know others are trying to do their best within their current situation. It is when we come across those who have it within their control to change their circumstances that we become impatient. However, we don’t always know if they actually do have it entirely in their control.

Before Photo Earlier this summer, a new neighbor down the street saw me in the front yard as I was waiting for my landscaper to come by to provide me with an estimate on redesigning a flower bed. We live on a corner lot and this particular flower bed faces the corner streets entering the neighborhood. We had it landscaped 2 years ago, however, last summer we were unable to maintain it as my health had taken a wrong turn. This summer the flower bed was overgrown and unruly. This new neighbor without properly introducing herself except to say they moved into the green-house down the street began the conversation with how bad the flower bed looked unknowing that I was waiting for the landscaper to discuss that very situation. “I’m a gardener,” she stated, “there is too many plants in there.” I politely told her I was waiting for the landscaper to discuss redesigning it. She also went on to tell me that my dogs always bark at her and her dog when they walk by our house. (Our house sits on a bit of hill with a fairly large city front yard. The dogs can barely be seen in the window from the street.) Since my dogs are never in the front yard but bark from inside the front window, I simply stated that, “dogs bark. That’s what they do.”

The landscaper arrived much to my relief. “Here he is now. Will you excuse me?” As she was walking away, she turned and she pointed at my face, “do you remember my name??” We briefly exchanged names during her dominating discussion. I said to her, “I’m sorry, chemo brain, what is your name again?” My name is Michelle!

What can we learn from these interactions?

“Remember: when people tell you something is wrong, or it doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.” Neil Gaiman, Writer.

The “know” versus “think” is where I have learned my level of patience even when it comes to myself. I am learning to ask, “Do I know? Or do I think I know?” Leukemia is desperately trying to teach me patience with outcomes, but more importantly empathy where I thought I had it.

After Photo Michelle needed my patience; and I needed her empathy (at least that is what I thought), but that wasn’t going to happen if we were not taking the time to hear each other’s story. It is possible that Michelle needed my empathy, and I needed her patience. So far in 2023, my awareness for patience with others has grown. I cannot assume the details of everyone’s story in that moment as others cannot assume the details of mine. Perhaps Michelle and I can adjust our footing in our next encounter to get to know one another better.

Independence

I confess. I am not independent from social media. Perhaps that was too lofty of a goal. I have found harmony in not reading as many comment threads to social or news media posts. The headline often instructs me on the comment thread that is sure to follow. There are social media sites that do offer a modicum of a respectful town square. It depends on the individual’s definition of respectful and healthy debate.

A small bit of independent success has come from not inserting myself into un-winnable debates whether online or in-person. Again, leukemia has taught me the value of time. I do not want to invest precious moments persuading a point-of-view unless the other party is willing to considerately hear my perspective. It is true that no one can help a troubled person if they don’t think they need it – me included. Please do not misunderstand my point here. I do not believe the person is troubled who does not agree with my perspective. I am simply stating that we can own our opinions and yet be open to hearing other opinions without causing distress with each other through name-calling or dismissive rhetoric. If we are willing to take time to listen to each other’s story perhaps we may learn something that will help us find a positive way forward with each other.

Stories

The word, story has been intertwined with my first two words, patience, and independence. I am a curious person eager to know others. The best conversation that leads to learning about each other’s story is posing the open-ended questions of who, what, why, where, when, and how. The trick is knowing what words come after that opening word when asking a question of someone or of myself. Is the question being asked with a genuine and earnest desire to hear their story? Or is it to intrusive or inappropriate?

Pathway When we read a book, we do not know the ending unless we jump to the back of the book to read the closing chapter or pages. Unfortunately, we do not have the ability to know our real life ending beforehand even with an illness. Conversation is a deliberate process of listening and learning with the knowledge that it is coming from a perspective. Are we patient enough to learn it? Can we accept the story when it may or may not agree with the storyteller? How does the story affect me? Others? How can I make it a simple, pleasant interaction or nothing at all just to move on?

Our stories are continually in development, I am still processing mine through the lens of reflection since retiring this past spring from full-time employment. I have begun genealogy research of my family. How do their stories transition to mine? What will I learn about myself through learning their stories? Why do these stories matter to me? What vision do I have for my continuing story and for the ending? How will my story affect my sons? What are the stories of ‘my people’ who are not associated to me by blood, but by friendship, professional association, or acquaintance?

I tend to overthink. And that is a story for another day.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Wellness, a reflective pose

Featured6 Comments

Wellness, peace of mind, body, spirit is a series of blog posts on the practice of mindful meditation. This is the third and last post in the series.

Yoga, is it right for you?

In the first two installments of this series of mindful meditation, I have shared a stationary and walking method of mindful meditation that I use along with my personal practice of journaling.

The next mindful practice to explore is yoga. Many of my friends practice daily yoga, the combination of stretching and breathing through different yoga poses to improve mental and cardiovascular health as well as to improve focus and memory. I have tried several times to learn and participate in yoga classes, one-on-one or online. Yoga hasn’t caught on for me yet, but it may be the perfect meditation practice for you.

The article, Yoga vs Meditation: Which Is Better for Me? By Rachel Sharpe dated October 19, 2022, provides excellent information on the differences between guided meditation and yoga. I found this article on the website, Declutter The Mind. I highly recommend this online resource or their app.declutterthemind.com – Declutter The Mind guided meditation library. The library provides guided meditation covering a host of topics such as anxiety, insomnia, focus and many more. The Plus program offers even more resources such as classes and talks for a fee to help you further your meditation practice. Declutter The Mind receives a 5-Hoot Rating from The Blogging Owl.

journaling, a process for reflection

Journaling has always been my go-to practice since I was a child. Since becoming diagnosed with leukemia almost three years ago, I have become resistant to leukemia treatment and the possibility of reaching a major molecular remission is slim, yet I remain hopeful.

I journal before and after whatever mindful meditation I have chosen for the day. Journaling before meditating helps me to dump everything out on the page. Reflecting after meditation helps me form an imprint for a positive way forward. Positivity may not happen in a day, a week, but over a longer period of time.

Journaling, as I have mentioned in previous posts, does not have to be written with perfect grammar and punctuation in perfectly formed sentences. (Some days it is merely phrases or simply a word because of my current state of mind, body, and spirit.) You may be a person who can express themselves better through drawing, painting, or photography. Journaling is personal. It is your personal form of communication that helps to reframe your mind, body, and spirit for a positive way forward.

Journaling is the practice and process of answering the open questions of our past and current experiences, and our future hopes, dreams, and expectations. It is the daily (for me) dumping of our mind and spirit to create a healthier wellness so as not to negatively impact the body. It is the process of bringing about harmony in mind, body, and spirit to spark the positive potential within us.

I offer you my own personal affirmations that slowly developed over time. It has taken many years of journaling to find my personal peace. If there is a benefit to becoming chronically ill, it is becoming more aware of time, how things can change in a moment. My personal belief is journaling, and the result of mindful meditation is divinely influenced. I don’t often see that positive divine influence until much later in my reflections. It is why the daily habit of journaling is so important. My journals are the chronicle of my life and upon reflection I see the divine spirit’s influence in between the lines and on all the pages.

To help you get started today, turn the following mindful affirmations into open questions (who, what, where, when how) for your own journaling and begin the dumping of your mind and spirit before you meditate and afterward reflecting on the content of your journal to create your own personal meditation affirmations.

The Owl’s Journal Affirmations

I am at peace for what I took for granted.
> I choose gratitude.

I am at peace for the mistakes, blunders, and failures.
> I choose acceptance.

I am at peace with the boundaries I have set, the doors I have bolted, and the windows I have left open.
> I choose well-being.

I am at peace with what I may never experience.
> I choose fulfillment today.

I am at peace with the level of accomplishment today.
> I choose to be enough.

I am at peace with what I cannot control.
> I choose faith in God.

I am at peace with my illness.
> I choose a positive outlook.

I am at peace with what I forget and what I remember.
> I choose the present.

I am at peace with forgiveness.
> I choose sanctification.

I am at peace for all I am and all I am not.
> I choose God’s knowledge of my heart.

I am at peace with my identity.
> I choose simply being human.

I am at peace.
> I choose love.

In closing this short blog series on wellness and the practice of meditation, I hope that you have found the information helpful on the ways I meditate to get you started on mindful meditation. There are many healthy ways to meditate. I am praying that you will continue to explore resources to help you maintain the practice of meditation in whatever form that feels right for you. May you find the peace and harmony in mind, body, and spirit to spark the positive potential within you.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Wellness, a mindful walk

FeaturedLeave a comment

Wellness, peace of mind, body, spirit is a series of blog posts on mindful meditation. This is the second post in the series.

One of the most important currently in the United States are general psychological distress and stress-related diseases. It is important to prevent and treat individuals with acute or chronic psychological distress with simple and cost-effective non-pharmacological therapies wherever possible and appropriate.

A study on reducing stress and improving quality of life:

In a randomized control trial studied the effectiveness of mindful walking in participants aged between 18 and 65 years old with moderate to high levels of perceived psychological distress. The National Library of Medicine concluded in this study that patients participating in a mindful walking program showed reduced psychological stress symptoms and an improved quality of life.

quieting the mind: step-by-step

As mentioned in my first post in this series, Wellness, peace of mind, body, spirit, mindful meditation, mindful meditation takes regular practice to produce lasting results. Practicing mindful meditation even for a few minutes every day can produce positive results.

If you have difficulty with sitting still, the walking meditation can be a good alternative. Walking is a very accessible meditation that can be practiced anywhere there is an open space to walk. Begin your mindful walking meditation slowly. Try walking 10-15 minutes daily and gradually increasing the duration of your medication practice. It is important to choose comfortable clothing and appropriate footwear for an extended distance.

Step 1: Mindfully choosing the place

Choosing a quiet place where you can walk without distraction and loud noises – a park or beach is ideal for walking meditation. Choices may be limited to where you live, or work and you may find availability of an indoor space that can offer a relaxing environment – a gym with a walking track or perhaps a treadmill using noise-cancelling headphones.

Step 2: Mindfully choosing your pace

The keywords to choosing your pace is smoothly and steadily. There is not a race to win so there is no need to walk too fast. If you must use headphones or earbuds (devices can be a distraction and are discouraged) softly listening to mindful instrumental music is helpful for focus and relaxing to finding your pace. My personal recommendation for indoor walking is Mindful Meditation Musication, Heavenly Glow – available on iTunes and possibly elsewhere – other album titles are also available.

Step 3: Mindfully focus on the walking movement

Focus on the sensation of walking – the feet as they rise and fall, the sensation of the breath flowing through the body, and the sensation of wind/air upon the skin.

Step 4: Mindfully observe your surroundings

Observe the beauty of the surrounding nature and allow it to help you to relax and concentrate on your movement and pace – the trees, flowers, birds, animals, the water. If indoors, imagine yourself in the park, on the beach, or out in nature while being present in the moment with relaxed breathing and a steady walking pace.

Step 5: Mindfully leave your thoughts behind

Observe your thoughts and feelings, allowing them to pass by like the clouds above, ebb with waves or left behind on the beach by the tracks of your shoes. Allow these thoughts to flow out of you without judgement.

Reflection

Reflecting on each walking experience will help you to maximize the benefits to relieving stress and anxiety. I mentioned in my last post that journaling can be an effective method for meditation reflection. If you are not keen on writing, try painting or sketching what you observed on your walk and the impression of your walking meditation experience has left upon you.

Walking not only has improved my psychological outlook, but it has also helped me to alleviate the spiraling effects of anxiety. Walking improves cardiovascular fitness and strengthens immunity. If you struggle with chronic illness as I do, walking meditation brings more harmony to mind, body, and spirit.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Wellness, peace of mind

FeaturedLeave a comment

Wellness, peace of mind, body, spirit is a series of blog posts on mindful meditation. This is the first post in the series.

Meditation as an Adjunct to the Management of Acute Pain from the National Library of Medicine found:

“While some studies have found a bigger impact of meditation on the emotional response to painful stimulus than on the reduction in action pain intensities, functional Magnetic Imaging has enabled the identification of various brain areas involved in meditation-induced pain relief. Potential benefits of meditation in acute pain treatment include changes in neurocognitive processes. Practice and Experience are necessary to induce pain modulation. In the treatment of acute pain, evidence is emerging only recently. Meditative techniques represent a promising approach for acute pain in various settings.”

Countdown to pain relief

Create Your Own Time (5)

o This is your time without distraction by anyone or any device.
o Choose a safe, secure, and comfortable place.
o Wear clothing (or not) that allows full and unrestrictive breathing.
o Schedule a time that will encourage consistency to practice mindfulness.
o Allow yourself to be fully immersed in the meditative experience in every moment.

Awareness of Time (4)

o Attune your attention to inhaling and exhaling each breath while sitting or lying in a comfortable position.
o Allow all judgments and critical thoughts about your body, mind, spirit to fade away.
o Close your eyes and acknowledge how you are able to sense any sensations in your body.
o Acknowledge acceptance with whatever you are feeling in each moment.

Awareness of Body (3)

o Imagine each part of your body becoming relaxed with each breath – starting from the top of your head to your toes – head, ears, face, shoulders, trunk, arms, elbows, wrists, fingertips, hips, thighs, knees, calves, ankles, toes.
o Experience each moment fully until each part of your body is completely relaxed.
o Concentrate simply slowing down with each breath – in, out, in, out.

Visualize (2)

o Visualize a place that brings peace – laying on a beach with the warmth of sun caressing you, sitting near a flowing river feeling it’s tranquility, breathing in the beauty and the crisp air of a mountaintop, floating in water feeling the buoyancy of the waves, laying on fresh mowed grass or in a field of wildflowers breathing the sweet scents.
o Allow yourself to relax further in that peaceful place with no thoughts, no feelings, no expectations only being present in that moment.

Awaken to Gratitude (1)

o Open your eyes with the awareness of gratitude for this peace.

Reflection

Reflect on your meditation experience for pain relief in mind, body, and spirit before your next meditation session. I recommend daily journaling daily or at least weekly. Ask yourself open-ended questions about your meditative experience in mind, body, and spirit – how, what, why, how, when… A future post in this series will be dedicated to the different types of journaling for mindful meditation.

As someone who cannot ingest pain medications due to my resistance to leukemia treatment, this mindful meditation practice helps me to manage chronic and acute pain in mind, body, and spirit. Whatever the source of your pain or its’ acuity, as studies have indicated you may receive positive benefits of mindful meditation given consistency and practice.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Opinion, on love and compassion

Featured3 Comments

In this month of June, several counties and communities in Michigan have made decisions on the demonstration of gay pride and book bans to name just a few topics of debate.

My personal opinion

Firstly, each person as a right to their individual opinion.

Secondly, each person deserves to feel safe in public and in private, to be loved, and have the necessities in life to thrive in mind, body, and spirit.

If someone denies another person’s safety, the necessities to thrive and be loved, then in my opinion these denials are an expression of hatred of another person’s existence and rights.

I often hear people speak of or make a statement like, “I have nothing against them! BUT I don’t want it shoved down my throat.” ‘Them’ is a referral to those who identify in the LGBQIA2+ community, persons who want to be referred to using personal pronouns, race, ethnicity, spiritual beliefs, and/or cultures different from their own.

While I may not always agree with someone who may appear different than I am or of an opinion different than my own, I do not feel anything is being thrust down my throat. I have learned not to allow anyone to disturb my peace. (Not everyone’s road to peace is easy.)

Hateful and oppressive opinions and their aggressive actions do affect ALL of us.

Thirdly, I do believe that someone we may know or love feels unsafe, unloved, unsupported or have the courageous authenticity or genuine necessities to thrive in mind, body, and spirit.

I wave all flags of love including the pride flag because we are all born human.

I can never give another person what I have found in mind, body, and spirit, but I can cause them to have a desire for love and compassion because I believe my purpose, and the commandment given to me is to love my neighbor as myself. If I do not speak and act in the way of love and compassion it would also be a denial of myself.

In my opinion, we would not need flags, ban books, or be fearful of differences if we can all just identify with love and compassion for each other.

May each of us find harmony in mind, body, and spirit to spark the potential within.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

P.S. HUMAN photo credit, please reach out to me so I may give you proper credit for your artwork.

Change, in one breath

Featured3 Comments

Every morning as I walked down the stairs to my office I would say, “Okay, Penny, don’t push me down the steps.” Penny would be the first one to reach my office to plop down on her cot (more like sleep in peace and quiet from Barkley and Carmela, who were on look out duty for any delivery van that may or may not stop by). At the end of the workday, Penny would push her way in front of me on the stairway to reach to the top first because it meant that Vinny Sal would be dishing out dinner for the three of them. Penny, Barkley, and Carmela are my “editing team.”

I won’t be going downstairs to my office for a while. I have made a temporary office in the guest room upstairs because my “editing supervisor,” Penny passed away during the early hours last Friday morning. She made sure we were all in our bed asleep before slipping away.

With her last breath, everything changed.

Kindred spirits

Penny BW Leo I cannot share Penny’s story without sharing some of my own. When my family met Penny and Barkley, it was after we had lost Thelma Jane to cancer. We sat in the backyard of Penny’s foster family introducing ourselves to our new family members. The affable Barkley was all smiles, tail wags, and ready to play ball. Penny was anxious and circled the yard unsure of who, why, and what was happening.

As I was sharing the story of losing Thelma, tears sprung from my eyes. Were we jumping in too fast with adopting not one but two dogs, I thought to myself. At that moment, Penny slowly approached me and licked my face. She understood my pain and anxiety.

I cannot share Penny’s story without sharing some of my own story.

Penny was not an emotional support dog. I do not care for that term in any context because these animals are not employees. Penny and I were kindred spirits. After hearing the story of her being found in Detroit** and being returned from another adoptive family, I knew she would be mine to help heal.

I broke the first rule of rescue that first night we brought Penny and Barkley home. That evening I brought Penny up in our bed. As she lay quivering, I began to slowly stroke her head and soft copper coat. Then snuggling beside her, I could feel her begin to relax. She would be safe. She would be loved. Penny had found her home.

Penny had been the subject of terrible abuse and trauma in her young life. I, too, had experienced trauma at an early age. Many people do not have the patience to tolerate others who suffer from anxiety, trauma, and depression. Those who have been through trauma act and communicate in ways that seem weird to others and the abused are often misunderstood.

Penny was standoff-ish with visitors to our home. She would let guests know in her own Penny-kind-of way that she was wary of them and in turn many guests were also wary of her too. It took patience to get to know Penny and those who took the time were often rewarded with tail wags and a smile if only at a distance.

Growing old together

Since that first night in May 2012, Penny became my shadow and my protector. Penny and Barkley were the first to become aware, in my opinion, that I was getting sick in the summer of 2020. Both of them stuck closer than usual and at times would stare at me for long periods of time. I would say, “it is too early for dinner,” or “you already had plenty of treats today.” I was fatigued ALL the time. My body felt lethargic, and I rarely ate more than a few bites of food. I blamed it on the heat and swimming.

When the young doctor in the ER gave me the diagnosis of leukemia instead of appendicitis, in one breath everything had changed.

Our bond grew tighter

Penny became my supervising nurse. We were always seemingly inseparable, but now the bond had grown even tighter. Every room I entered, she was there, in fact, every room she had her special place with one eye closed and one eye opened toward me.

A year ago, my quarterly lab results were elevated. My body was resisting chemotherapy treatment. After genetic testing, bone biopsy, and relentless blood tests, my medical team could not ascertain why my body was resistive to the chemotherapy drug that 80% of patients have successfully attained remission. I was one of the 20%.

Then immediately afterward I had become allergic to new pain medication. I opted to go without any pain medication until my insurance would approve a new chemotherapy drug so as not to incur any drug interactions. It would be a couple of weeks before the insurance company would approve my second chemotherapy treatment. Penny never wavered in her duty to comfort me.

Weeks after recovering from the allergic reaction and starting a new chemotherapy drug, I struggled to go up the stairs from my office, I was gasping for air and my chest was tight as a snare drum. I would be admitted to the hospital’s acute care unit where tests would discover seven blood clots in my chest and leg.

Soon after being released from the hospital, I had a toxic reaction to the new chemotherapy treatment. Chemotherapy would need to be suspended yet again with weekly labs to determine what had caused the blood clots and if, yet another chemotherapy treatment would be necessary.

I spent my days on the sofa either waiting for the extreme vertigo, unrelenting migraines, and lymph node inflammation to subside and mindlessly bingeing on Netflix. In truth, I wanted to die. Penny was now the one who snuggled me with empathy and compassion. I was safe. I was loved. I was home.

With what I had experienced before and after beginning the third chemotherapy treatment over the last several months on disability, I decided to retire in March. My cognitive skills were not as sharp as they were before the new migraine and chemotherapy treatments. Now I could be released from the stress of acclimating to new drugs and the stress of returning to the workplace. I could fully concentrate on becoming well in mind, body, and spirit. I would be able to spend more time with my editing team, Penny, Barkley, and Carmela on new personal writing projects including our family’s genealogy as a lasting legacy for our two sons.

The writing projects would have to be set aside. April would not only bring showers but inexplicable pain on the right side of my abdomen. A CT scan and an MRI showed liver inflammation which set off a new round of lab tests. What was causing my liver enzymes to be extremely high? The surgery to remove an aneurism that had formed around the remaining clot material in my leg – a holdover from last summer – would need to be postponed. Migraine and pain medication including chemotherapy would need to be suspended once again and weekly labs would resume. Thoughts of another chemotherapy rejection were daunting.

One week later, Penny passed away. Change, in one breath.

Her last staircase was to heaven.

Penny had cancer too; but she never let on what she was experiencing until recently. We had been each other’s comforter. The excruciating pain I felt in April, she felt in that last week of May. In the early hours of June 2nd Penny reached the top of the final staircase. She always led the way and now she was gone.

I have never known such profound loneliness as I do now. The tears come in those times I reach over to pet her or when I would hold her sweet face in my hands to give her kiss and receive a kiss from her. No one can replace her. I do not know what the future holds; but I know I will eventually reach the top of the final staircase too and Penny will undoubtedly be there first among the others to greet me. That thought is the only harmony I can muster in mind, body, and spirit.

I love you, my sweet Penny. You are safe. You are loved. You are home.

In Memory of Penny

** Please view Penny’s story on YouTube, “Penny goes to Prison” Part, 1, 2, and 3.

Donate – Volunteer – Foster – Adopt

Penny 2011 to 2023 If you would like to donate in memory of Penny, please go to the Refurbished Pets of Southern Michigan website – www.rpsm.org. Please help save more dogs like Penny. You may also be rescuing someone’s kindred spirit. If you can, please also consider volunteering, fostering, or adopting from your local rescue or Refurbished Pets of Southern Michigan. Thank you.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Balancing, the begets and the regrets

FeaturedLeave a comment

The book, Genesis in the Holy Bible, traces the passing of God’s promises to the sons of Israel and especially to Judah, whom the kings of Israel would descend – including Jesus of Nazareth. When one attempts to read the Holy Bible from the front cover to the back cover, I think that many people give up, if not get bored halfway through Chapter 5 with all the genealogical begets – a chronicle of mankind listing persons from before the great flood. This generational narrative however defines the people of Israel. It is worth the effort to forge ahead and read the rest of Holy Bible.

There is not a single plotline or story in the book of Genesis, but the author provides an overarching structure to the complexities throughout the sacred line of generations. I am, however, finding the book of Genesis an interesting foundation for my own writing project as I begin to dig up my family’s own genealogical story.

The Holy Bible is an excellent book to read even if one does not define themselves as a Christian. The important thing to remember in reading the Holy Bible is the same as reading any historical narrative. The reader is to consider the worldview at the time of each generation and try to determine if any truths hold water today. It is precisely this viewpoint I strive to remember when considering my own ancestry.

The Begets

My current research has taken me back through to our family’s parents, grandparents, and second great grandparents. Both family lines have declining birth rates from 8-14 children to 2-3 children among our immediate families. As I read through all of the begetting, I thought, for the love of scotch stay off of her!

I imagine poor Louise praying, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake (please! before Friedrich comes to bed), I pray to my Lord my soul to take. Amen”

How much did our ancestors dwell in the spiritual well of faithfulness – being true in words and actions?

Just within these three generations in both lineages I have learned of a divorce because of extreme cruelty and the abandonment and abuse of children. Historical documents often tend to disclose the worst rather than the best of our ancestors.

“Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.” Proverbs 3:3 (ESV)

The Regrets

“So, the LORD said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, man and animals and creeping things and birds of the heavens, for I am sorry that I have made them.” Genesis 6:7 (ESV)

As I am getting to know our ancestors on a more personal level in the time that they were alive, I wonder about their possible regrets, as well as, any of my own. Certainly, there is sadness for time misspent or opportunities wasted; but I cannot think of one regret. If I had any regrets, then I would not be the person I am today. All that time misspent and opportunities wasted helped me to become mindful of this moment in time.

Certainly, chronic illness or death of a significant person in our life has a way of putting our past under the microscope in the moment.

Did we spend enough time with the people we love?

Did we fulfill the purpose for which we were born?

Whether we are examining the worldview of our ancestors or our own life, it is important to balance ourselves between the spiritual well of kindness exercising compassion, and the spiritual well of gentleness exercising a grace in hardship or prosperity.

“And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7 (ESV)

“But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” 1 Corinthians 15:10 (ESV)

Harmony of mind, body, and spirit

The importance of preserving our heritage is much like the Holy Bible balancing the begets and the regrets with the promises of love and forgiveness still abounds across the generations.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Promises, the spiritual wells

Featured2 Comments

My current television binge is a series shown on Amazon Video Prime, Vikings 2013-2020, Vikings. The series has the Vikings transporting the viewers to the “brutal and mysterious world of Ragnar Lothbrok, a Viking warrior and farmer who yearns to explore – and raid – the distant shores across the ocean.” Since I have not completed the series, I am leaving it unrated. So far, though, I am enthralled with the story as the actors are well cast; and the series has good production quality.

(Spoiler Alert) In the episode that shows the death of Athelstan played by actor, George Blagden. Up until this episode I wondered why Ragnar took interest in the Christian monk, Athelstan. Ragnar played by actor/model, Travis Fimmel took Athelstan in a raid instead of silver and continued to protect him as his friend seemingly over his own pagan tribe. This friendship causes a rift between Ragnar and his shipbuilder and warrior, Floki played by actor, Gustaf Skarsgård. “Who needs a reason for betrayal? One must always think the worst Ragnar, even of your own kin. That way, you avoid too much disappointment in life.”

(Spoiler Alert) In another scene: Ragnar: “So have you returned to your faith, renounced ours?” Athelstan: “I wish it was so simple. In the gentle fall of rain from Heaven I hear my God. But in the thunder, I still hear Thor. That is my agony.”

Floki kills “the Christian.” Ragnar carries the shrouded body of his beloved friend, Athelstan, up a hill to bury Athelstan’s body. This poignant scene shows the depth of Ragnar’s sorrow and unwavering trust in his Christian friend. Athelstan fought next to Ragnar in raids and indulged Ragnar’s curiosity of Christianity. Ragnar believed he could only trust Athelstan because Athelstan never judged Ragnar. The friendship and love were mutual.

Athelstan never blamed his inner spiritual turmoil toward Ragnar or on anyone else. He allowed himself to be drawn away from his faith into the pagan world and felt desire. Even so I believe Athelstan left this inner turmoil at the feet of God. He dipped himself into the spiritual wells of goodness, kindness, self-control, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, peace, and love until he was finally ready to fully commit himself to the joy of Jesus Christ.

Athelstan would never see himself as courageous although by declaring his Christian faith, he knew it would mean certain death at the hands of a pagan. In turn, Ragnar never judged Athelstan for rejecting Ragnar’s gods to return to his Christian faith. Ragnar and Athelstan’s friendship was formed in the spiritual well of love – being rooted in gratitude and acceptance.

The courage of curiosity

As I begin my writing project with researching my family’s collective history, I am not unlike Athelstan. Will my beliefs be challenged as I journey to foreign places to uncover buried secrets and potentially inspiring stories of long-forgotten ancestors? Or will I be critical and condemning like Floki judging the characters of my family’s history without exercising the compassion of kindness and the graciousness of their hardship or in their prosperity?

Our names with our individual stories like smoke rise, dissipate, and are forgotten if not shared by the generations. So then, what was the purpose for these lives if only to be forgotten?

Inspiring the harmony

I have begun my research by dipping myself into two of the eight spiritual wells of self-control and patience – resisting reaction to allowing reason to rule. And to borrow from Dr. Henry Louis Gates, Jr. of PBS’ Finding Your Roots series, “Are you ready to turn the page to find out?”

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Stories, a legacy gift

Featured2 Comments

5-Hoot Rating by The Blogging Owl

I have been bingeing The Last Kingdom series on Netflix. In fact I have watched all five seasons along with the sixth season – the movie, Seven Kings Must Die three times. The series is based on the book series, The Saxon Stories by author Bernard Cromwell. As Alfred the Great defends his kingdom from Norse invaders, Uhtred – born a Saxon but raised by Danes seeks to claim his ancestral birthright, Bebbanburg – now known as Bamburgh Castle in Northumberland. The series and movie are well cast, acted, directed, and produced especially German actor, Alexander Dreymon who gives a stunning and moving performance as Uhtred – “Destiny is All!”

Another television series that receives my 5-Hoot Rating is “Finding Your Roots” by renowned scholar Dr. Henry Louis Gates, Jr. on PBS. Dr. Gates guides influential guests into their family roots, uncovering deep secrets, hidden identities, and lost ancestors. I find each one of these episodes fascinating because of the extensive genealogy work that goes into researching the guest’s ancestry. The guests are presented with a book chronicling their ancestry along with a poster depicting their family tree.

Who doesn’t love an exceptional story?

Netflix’s series, The Last Kingdom and the PBS’ series, Finding Your Roots illuminate stories that are passed from one generation to the next, or to wondering who came before us. These two series caused me to reflect on my family’s legacy, as well as my husband’s family. We had our DNA evaluated for family medical reasons years ago, however, we never went beyond that point to discover anything further about our ancestors.

Defining a reimagined project

These two series have helped me to reimagine one of my writing projects. I have enrolled in a genealogy class at a local college. One of my writing projects is a legacy gift to my sons. I will be researching and chronicling our family’s stories into a book. I am looking forward to this journey into the past which undoubtedly will be met with far-ranging emotions and unimaginable discoveries.

What hidden identities or characters will I meet? What deep secrets will I uncover?

Do we have an exceptional legacy story to pass down to our sons?

For the love of scotch! Is there an Uhtred, one of the greatest warriors in our story?

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Reimagined, freeing the angel

FeaturedLeave a comment

Initially, it was difficult to find my rhythm in this new phase of life referred to as retirement. It has taken time to fully sink in into my planner personality that I now control my time versus an employer. My husband is still working full-time, and I am sure he is anxious to move into hover mode with a to-do list for me if I am feeling up to it.

For the love of scotch!

Have I got news for him and for AARP!

I am putting everyone on notice that the word retirement will no longer be applicable with my new phase of life, and AARP can buzz off with their insistent solicitations. When anyone asks this dream-slayer if I am retired, I shall politely inform them I am not retired nor do I have a bucket list. I am reimagined with a box of dreams. My 83-year-old mother and others with or without frayed filters will surely ask, “what the hell does that mean?”

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” – Michelangelo

The word “retirement” does not mean we no longer dream and that we are only meant to kick some sort of bucket until death seizes us. Dreaming is for all ages. Dreams are the catalyst for personal change. Our dreams profoundly shape our identity, our happiness, our achievements, and our fulfillment.

I am not too old to dream.

As I was spring cleaning my dream box, I found there were some dreams that naturally did not fit me any longer while other dreams could be reimagined. Hence, I am reimagining this phase of life ready to free the angels.

The power and the grace to say, “No, perhaps another time.”

There is power in a routine where the mundane and trivial activities of everyday life become almost unconscious. It takes real cognitive effort wanting to accomplish something without getting bogged down in the details, especially when afflicted with a chronic illness. It was chronic illness that forced me into this newly reimagined phase. Do I dare say, “thank you?”

This is where the planner personality in me had lost her rhythm. I needed to learn how to set clear boundaries and expectations for myself and for others who may see me as “semi-retired” free to do anything at any time. Please accept my apology if I decline invitations or participating in activities. I have angels to carve and on some days with my limited strength in mind, body, and spirit.

Reimagined can truthfully be any phase of life. Whatever you see in the marble it is not too late to carve it and set an angel free.

AND for the love of scotch at least find a new analogy for a “bucket list.”

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Dreams, a box of photographs

FeaturedLeave a comment

As I sat rifling through the dream box searching for which project I wanted to finish or start anew, I saw photographs of a person I vaguely remember.

Oh, For the love of scotch! This reminds me of a story…

Last summer on a hot Saturday morning in late August, I had driven to Rite-Aid to pick up prescriptions. I wandered the aisles as I was waiting for the prescriptions to be filled. I glanced down at my phone and saw that I had missed a notification from our house Ring security app.

I rewound the video that sets off the Ring alert to the back door. Who is that?! I thought as I watched the video.

The video is showing a woman, or at least I think it is a woman, bending down toward the doormat. Then she turns without showing her face entering our garage through the open garage door where my husband’s car is usually parked.

I called Vinny Sal immediately. “I saw a woman come into our garage from the Ring app. What did she want?”

“What woman?” he asks.

“Oh! For the love scotch, Vinny. How many times have I said not to leave the garage doors open. Go out there and see if anything is missing.”

I stand tapping my foot, rewinding the video again, waiting for Vinny Sal to call me back.

“Nothing is gone,” he remarks in his usual a monotone voice.

“Did she knock on the kitchen door from the garage?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I didn’t hear anything but I could have been downstairs.” he says unperturbed.

“Remember what I said about keeping the garage doors down? Can you put the garage door down please?!”

My anxiety and irritation are amped up. (I have a history with garages that dates back to a different lifetime ago; but that’s a story for another time.) I picked up my prescriptions and left the pharmacy.

My anxiety and irritation had a stranglehold on me.

Who is this woman?? What was she doing in our garage?? I sped home to evaluate the garage for myself. After reassuring myself that everything was in order, I sat on the patio to watch the Ring video again. I was still dizzy with anxiety. I watched the Ring video twice more.

Oh! For the love of scotch! I said underneath my breath.

The woman was me!! The Ring app went off when I put an envelope under the doormat for the dog sitters. I had just returned home the evening before from four days of being in acute care at the University of Michigan hospital. The last few years of the COVID pandemic, a leukemia diagnosis, chemo resistance, and now blood clots were turning me into a person I barely recognize anymore – both physically and cognitively. Unfortunately, the weeks ahead would only get worse before they would get better again.

Later that afternoon, my eldest son called to check up on me. He wanted to know if I was doing better since being released from the hospital. I confessed my story about the Ring video. Laughing, he asked, “did you tell dad?”

“Are you kidding? No! He would never let me live that one down,” I laughed.

Turning back to the dream box…

As I flip through these photographs again of vaguely familiar faces looking back at me, I realize all the faces are of me. It will take some time to go through an reacquaint myself with the person I once was in each photograph. It makes me realize though, the legacy I want to leave behind for my sons is of love, laughter, and a bit of wisdom. I wonder if there are enough dreams in this dream box to accomplish that legacy project.

For the love of scotch, I hope so.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Stress, the lead balloon

FeaturedLeave a comment

Over a year ago, I was experiencing severe vertigo and what I can only describe as my body feeling like lead. As I reflect on my health over the last year or so, it was the beginning signs of resistance to my first chemotherapy drug. In fact, my resistance to treatment started six months earlier but my body would eventually sound louder alarm bells with the toxic reaction to the second chemotherapy drug – severe body rash, seven blood clots, daily migraines. Blah, blah, blah… So far, so good on slowly acclimating to a third chemotherapy drug.

My hope in sharing this deeply personal information is that you take stress that you may be experiencing seriously. Chronic stress is a killer in mind, body, and spirit.

When chronic stress grows wildly in your life and over the long-term, this puts you at an increased risk of many health problems and diseases. Per the Mayo Clinic, why we react to life stressors the way we do are based on two factors: genetics and life experiences. Each one of us reacts differently to stressors because of our genes that control stress responses. Strong stress reactions can be also traced back to neglected and abused childhoods, violent crime victims, military and first responder experiences, and other traumatic events.

Letting go of the uncontrollable

Since retiring from full-time employment a few weeks ago, I feel lighter. I realize not everyone can retire from their job as a stress management strategy. Yet there are things that I have begun to notice by taking steps to manage stress in my life. The harmony in mind, body, and spirit is slowing coming into balance. I feel my sense of humor and creativity coming back to life.

Creativity and Stress

“Stress is a well-known creativity killer,“ says psychologist Robert Epstein Ph.D.
“Stress is the enemy of creativity. Our best work often comes from a state of nonchalance when our minds are calm.” — Will Meier, “The Next Web”

Creativity is not just for us creative, visionary types. Creativity is applied to practical problem solving in business and social issues. Studies have shown that creativity requires the right brain and the left brain to cooperate. The level of cortisol in our body is affected by stressful events causing a cascade of physiological, psychological, and neurological changes. The process of creativity relies on a harmonious balance of cortisol in our body.

My people

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I am searching for my people. Not just creative and thinker types but associating with happy people in my community. The COVID pandemic plus having a lowered immunity due to my treatment resistance has made being in the presence of humans more difficult. Hopefully, this will change as I continue to employ stress reducing strategies.

Associating and collaborating with others including safely detaching myself from my illness mentally will increase my cognitive focus and sense of creativity. The important message here for everyone per my mental health therapist is not to become associated with people, events, or activities that set off our individual stress triggers. Creating and managing safe boundaries is key!

For the love of scotch! I feel better! Now, back to rifling through that dream box.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

What are your stress triggers? It may not always be possible to remove all of them in your life but removing the removable and drawing the boundaries to create harmony in mind, body, and spirit is possible.

5 Hoot Rating Book Review from The Blogging Owl

A cognitive behavioral therapist recommended Dr. Gabor Mate’ to me. He is a physician, public-speaker, and award-winning author of “When the Body Says NO, Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection.” This book deserves more than a 5-Hoot Rating. I wish I could gift each one of you a copy of Dr. Mate’s book which is backed by research and enormous amount of studies which are annotated and listed at the end of the book. It confirms what I have known about our individual “place of hurt” and the cross-generational stress we carry. If I had this book in my early 20’s, I would be a healthier and happier person in mind, body, and spirit today. Whether you are healthy or suffer from a chronic/terminal illness, I heartily recommend this book. It may just save your life. It is available on Amazon or special-order from your local independent bookstore.

Other resources:

Here is a list of websites that may help you learn more about managing stress and anxiety.

Stress Management Strategies: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20046037
Stress Tips: https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/tips
Heart Healthy 3 Tips to Manage Stress: https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/3-tips-to-manage-stress
Restorative Sleep – Relieving Stress: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/how-to-relieve-stress-for-bedtime
Power of Music to Reduce Stress: https://psychcentral.com/stress/the-power-of-music-to-reduce-stress
Nature Reduces Stress and Anxiety: https://www.vet.cornell.edu/news/20200225/spending-time-nature-reduces-stress-and-anxiety
12 Tips to Reduce Your Child’s Stress and Anxiety: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dont-worry-mom/201302/12-tips-reduce-your-childs-stress-and-anxiety
Mental Health 101: Anxiety h ttps://mentalhealth101.org/anxiety/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw2v-gBhC1ARIsAOQdKY0H9e7FPaX2ELJEw48Z4HT9IEXakAXEb3_qZI5d2fKsQ9YuujFok5saAtQqEALw_wcB
Stress – The Enemy of Creativity https://fherehab.com/learning/stress-enemy-of-creativity

Guiding, the invisible horizon

Featured2 Comments

I officially retired from working full-time. Let’s me just say, I reluctantly and excitedly retired. As the time drew near to actually turning in my notice, I was apprehensive toward this new phase of life that I was entering.

For the love of scotch! Now what?

In a video that I shared on The Blogging Owl Facebook page, I referred to the world of infinite possibilities. I do prefer to see things not as they are but as they could be. Life is limited only by the boundaries of my own beliefs and I am driven to push to the limit of not only myself, but everything.

In the words of the American Humorist, Erma Bombeck, “There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, ‘Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course, I’ve got dreams.’ Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or bad am I? That’s where courage comes in.”

Untapped potential

I am introspective with an intuitive nature which balance by a keen interest in the world around me. I do desire to contribute to society even in this next phase of life. My greatest challenge – and true power – lies in learning to take consistent daily action to create.

Health support groups need not apply.

These last 9 or so months of health challenges has left a lasting impression of my inability to affect outcomes. Chemotherapy has taught me much about vulnerability. It is for this reason that I am dusting off that dream box.

As God is resetting my life, I need the encouragement of thinking types – “the voice of reason” to get me out of this dreaming, visionary stage so I can do all things that I am called to do with my craft. It takes more than the courage Erma Bombeck speaks of. I need to find my people who understand the vulnerability I feel to breathe life into emotional, passion-driven, and full-of-idea dreams.

God has taught me that my greatest gift is the ability to see the spark of potential in everything and everyone, and to inspire others to see it, too with a rare generosity of spirit and strength of conviction. I do not need a health support group. I need my people, a community of creatives and thinkers.

For the love of scotch! I need to find my people fast before I waste another week of watching mind-numbing Instagram reels of dogs, cats, and babies doing cute things.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Mental Health, a breakdown

Featured6 Comments

This past week a friend posted on their Instagram story a meme from tinybuddha.com that read,

“I dream of never being called resilient again in my life. I am exhausted by strength. I want support. I want softness. I want ease. I want to be amongst my kin. Not patted on the back for how well I take a hit. Or for how many.” Zomdashe’ L’orelia Brown

Wow! I said to myself. This resonates with every fiber of my being.

My friend has a familiar story to my own of a lost career several years ago to no fault of her own or within her control. Since that loss, they too have kept themselves afloat financially with contract jobs and positivity. My friend and I were raised in the same hometown, graduated from the same high school, and are in the same age group. While our stories are familiar, our lives are different and unique to us just as yours is to you.

Mental Health, the breakdown

“I dream of never being called resilient again in my life.”

That constant inner positivity of pulling oneself up by their bootstraps is exhausting. In fact, I believe that constant striving for normalcy and purely surviving is toxic to our mental health if left unchecked. How many times can a person be knocked down before they cry, “I give, damn it!” This new year I am banishing toxic positivity and embracing mental harmony.

“I am exhausted by strength. I want support. I want softness. I want ease.”

This past year was a year of battles in health (mind, body, spirit) and fucking insurance companies. I am tired as most resilient people are of the weight of their individual battles won or lost. Whatever the source of these battles, people need to put their mental health first and foremost in the new year.

“I want to be amongst my kin. Not patted on the back for how well I take a hit. Or how many.”

Toxic negativity does not contribute to mental health either. I have yet to find that balance within my community perhaps more boundary setting is necessary. Could it be that I am tired of adulting? Is it fading into a crowd without being the topic of discussion? I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that most of us are tired of fighting battles that feel like more have been lost than won.

The harmony of being.

I want to focus on me without anyone focused on me. Does that make sense? Resilient people are cramming negativity down into every nook and cranny of their being while searching for any positivity to be worn from an outdated closet that doesn’t show the moth-eaten holes or stains of insomnia, catastrophic thoughts, anxiety, or depression.

Do you see yourself in any elements of this story? If so, make your mental health a priority. I am.

I suggest we invest in a new wardrobe for 2023. A wardrobe that says, ‘I am grateful for me’ worn for any occasion and without apology. A wardrobe that sets healthy boundaries, practices mindfulness, engages in fun physical activities and in creativity that increases dopamine to boost the immune system. We deserve to feel the harmony of being in mind, body, and spirit.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Happy New Year, Quiet Thriving

Featured1 Comment

What does harmony mean to you?
How is harmony defined?

Last year unfolded in ways I did not plan nor how I could have imagined. I do not make resolutions but rather live by a set of words in which I add 3 more words each year to that list. Words that help me to stretch to live authentically. As 2022 came to close I wondered if these words actually help me to achieve harmony in mind, body, and spirit. In my moments of mindfulness in the waning weeks of 2022, free from the pressure of work, of keeping busy, and the need for stimulation, I asked myself these questions.

I had a view of harmony the summer of 2020 before my leukemia diagnosis. The summer of 2020 was spent holed up at our lake house due to the Covid pandemic. It was the happiest summers in recent memory. I wondered if my view of harmony had changed these past two years.

In 2011 before he died, Steve Jobs said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of others. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Quiet thriving in the New Year

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Happiness is where what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

If I am to consider Gandhi’s definition of happiness and follow Steve Job’s advice, I must have the courage to live life fully and in harmony. My heart and intuition already provide the motivation. Words to live by or resolutions, it does not matter. It is the “doing” that sets each of us up to be surprised when the year does not go as we had planned or hoped.

This year I am making 8 promises to myself when my courage wanes and my motivation feels stifled. I will rest within myself and within the present moment to dip my mind and body into these 8 spiritual wells:

Goodness: moral strength
Kindness: exercise compassion
Self-Control: resist reaction
Patience: allowing reason to rule
Faithfulness: being true in words and actions
Gentleness: gracious in hardship and prosperity
Peace: free from anxiety and worry
Love: being rooted in gratitude and acceptance

Whatever I resolve to do whether they are words to live by or resolutions to eat healthier, exercise daily, spend quality time with others or in special activities, I promise myself to live out these 8 spiritual natures.

Harmony, a new view

If my view of harmony has changed since the summer of 2020, it is that each of us would do well to heed the words of Steve Jobs. It does not mean that we are snowflakes, quietly quitting because we expect more from our circumstances than we did in past years, but that we are quietly thriving with greater expectations to live courageously.

Quiet thriving means to keep these 8 spiritual (yes, spiritual) promises. This is what harmony looks like to me. If I keep these promises to myself then I keep these same promises to others.

How do we replenish these spiritual wells?

The answer is possibly different for each of us. I will be commenting on quiet thriving throughout 2023. I hope you will follow the commentary to help you quietly thrive in the new year.

Happy New Year!

Blogging Owl Photo

2023 – Words to Live By

Featured3 Comments

When I began choosing words in 2017 to live by in the following new year, I never thought I would be choosing words each year to add to those initial words of minimalism, grace, and truth over 5 years later. Why did I choose these words? How relevant have these chosen words been in each new year?

2018: Minimalism, Grace, Truth

There was no writing on the wall in 2017 that prepared me for losing another job in less than 10 years. It was another company who decided to exit their industry in the spring of 2018. Rather than staying until the operation wound down its operations to receive a severance, I decided to take a much lesser paying position in a different industry. My decision was based on my personal experience from my first lay off in 2009. I was not going to take the chance again of being out of job for years when more job-seeking people would soon be flooding the employment market. I took the first position offered. It paid off if not in annual compensation. Minimalizing my life, accepting the reality with grace, and living my truth of an aging employee helped me to move forward in a positive way in mind, body, and spirit.

2019: Wisdom, Honor, Joy

When I wrote on December 16, 2018, my three words for 2019 were accompanied with selected quotes that I believed helped me to visualize the meaning of my selected three words.

In seeking wisdom, I chose a quote by poet, e.e. cummings:

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

In speaking with honor, I chose from the Bible, Proverbs 4:8 (GW):

“Cherish wisdom. It will raise you up. It will bring you honor when you embrace it.”

In sharing joy, I chose a quote from the monk, Thich Nhat Hanh:

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.”

In 2019 I finally realized my strengths and skills both personally and professionally. I was happy in mind, body, and spirit for the first time in a very long while.

2020: Silence, Commit, Fulfill

I chose three verbs in 2019 for words to live by in 2020. I wanted to take action with my new well-being in mind, body, and spirit. I chose the verb tense of silence to paralyze any doubts I had about myself and my abilities.

The most astonishing reflection came with my chosen verb, commit. I wrote, “Dictionary.com defines commit as “to consign for preservation; to commit ideas to writing – to entrust, commence – to do; perform.” I then asked, “Have you noticed that most “C” words instill a sense of fear? “Caution,” “Cancer,” “Change,” for example?”

My third verb I selected in 2019 for 2020 was fulfill. I wrote, “… as if anyone is to reach their full potential it is to bring that priority in life into realization.”

Wow! I had no idea when I walked into the emergency room on September 25, 2020 that I would be diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia. The remaining months of 2020 had me reeling on these three verbs. Could I silence my fears, entrust myself to fulfilling God’s purpose with this diagnosis?

2021: Mindfulness, Creativity, Discernment

I had had the best summer in 2020 until that fateful day in September. I wrote on December 13, 2020, “When I think about mindfulness, I think about the three principles of unities in drama from Aristotle’s Poetics – a play’s requirement to have a single action occurring in a single place and within a single day – unit of action, unity of place, and unity of time.” Mindfulness is being in the present – not looking backward or forward.

I added creativity to mindfulness. I promised I would invest my creative-self and wherever that creativity took me without judgement or promises. I would write, “Legacy is for others to decide so why dwell on it.”

My third word for 2021 was discernment. I wrote that discernment was my ability to distinguish intellectually or recognize spiritually without the world dictating to me how to live my life in that moment. These three words especially discernment would have me praising God and giving Him all the glory for the decision to sell our primary and vacation homes in the height of a hot real estate market to move to our forever home near the shore of Lake Michigan. If we had waited even one year, we would not have been so fortune with the timing or in health.

2022: Wholeness, Habits, Perspective

As I wrote on November 26, 2021, habits have three components: 1) a trigger, 2) a routine, and 3) a reward. Conscious and subconsciously, habits have had both an insignificant and compelling effect on me in 2022. Each chosen word since 2018, buoyed me throughout one of my most challenging years in mind, body, and spirit. The habit of choosing these words helped me to keep all things in perspective even when I became resistive to each chemotherapy drug.

When someone asked me what I would do if I won the Power Ball Lottery of $1.9 billion, I returned with my own question, “Would winning $1.9 billion change my life forever? Tomorrow, I will wake up, take my chemotherapy, vomit, have diarrhea, nausea, and unforgiving migraines. $1.9 billion would not change that reality. Health is wealth.”

As we near the end of 2022, I believe I will gain my equilibrium, that wholeness in mind, body, and spirit by keeping all things in perspective and continuing the habit of selecting my next 3 words to live by.

Will the next three words have the same impact as the rest of my words on my to live by list?

2023: Patience, Independence, Stories

Patience

Is patience a virtue?

Everybody has a first try at something, a first day on the job, and a first at all things. Some hit it out of the ballpark on the first try while others reach proficiency with time and guidance, while others never seem to reach it at all. If someone is fervently trying to do something, then they deserve patience (including myself).

So, what do we do with the people who are not fervently trying?

Have patience – the conformity of one’s life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude. Especially post-pandemic, we cannot change others or their circumstances; but we can have the patience, that virtue, to change our reactions and responses, as well as the patience to listen with the purpose to understand.

Independence

Sooner rather than later in 2023 I will be deciding to become independent of social media. Social media has both positive and negative influences. I find, however, social media too controlling of the harmony I am seeking in my life. Do I really need social media? Does social media need me more than I need it? Those are the questions I will be seeking to answer in 2023. I know this one truth about myself; social media is a like an addictive habit such as cigarette smoking or a bad lover – kick it cold turkey.

I cannot become independent of all that seems to want to control my time, attention, and talents; but living more independently to whatever does not add value is key in 2023. Hmmmm, is it all about me? Perhaps another perceptive question to be answered.

Stories

I love The Moth – www.themoth.org podcast and radio show. I also love the PBS television series, Finding Your Roots. I also heartily recommend Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Talking to Strangers – What We Should Know About People We Don’t Know. When this book arrived my husband jokingly asked, “Didn’t you write this book?” He and my sons tease me that I can talk to anyone from the grocery clerk to a corporate executive as though I have known them all my life.

Gladwell’s book and these invaluable television and podcast programs feature storytelling at its best. My third word I have chosen to live by in 2023 is stories – and sharing and listening to stories that may help bring harmony in mind, body, and spirit even if they are difficult to tell. Each person’s story provides the opportunity to further understand our own story and how our individual cog fits in the wheel of life.

In closing, Happy Thanksgiving. May everyone become independent from what weighs us down, patient with everyone we meet and with ourselves to share our stories with hope of love and understanding.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Victimhood, waving the white flag

FeaturedLeave a comment

I have referred occasionally in past posts of our individual place of hurt. It is the inflamed, bruised, and tender area where we choose to reside or step out of in a leap of faith in search of healing ourselves in mind, body, and spirit. We retreat to that place of hurt from time to time if we do not freely stay stuck there altogether when we become overwhelmed or when life takes a turn on us unexpectedly.

Unexpectedly or self-inflicted, our response to life determines our level of understanding of who we are as individuals. I readily admit that I am no expert in harmony in mind, body, and spirit. This blog is dedicated to finding it and sometimes I do find harmony amongst the lint and loose change in my pockets in that place of hurt. What also is stuffed in those pockets are the receipts of victimhood.

In Matthew Legge’s article, Victimhood is Tearing Us Apart in Psychology Today on February 10, 2022, the author writes we all play a victim at one time or another. ‘” Victim” is a powerful identity because it makes us feel moral as if we’re acting out of necessity, not by choice. We complain about the suffering that we have, and yet what we are blind to is that we value the innocence we find in that suffering.”

The Christian’s call is to be made broken bread and poured-out wine without objection to the fingers God chooses to crush them. Whether you adhere to that Christian call or not, if we are ever going to be made into drinkable wine, we need to quit trying to swallow whole grapes.

Waving the white flag

Kevin Rempel, a Canadian Paralympian, and mental resilience coach explains that we must become a hero in our movie. Primarily, we must accept responsibility for ourselves if we are to cultivate a hero mindset. He goes on to say that we may not be responsible for what happens to us, but we are always responsible for what we do about it. We must stop playing the victim role.

Secondly, we must start taking responsibility for our life, the decisions we make, and where we want to go. As soon as we do that, everything else begins to change.

Messiahs of victimhood

I do not need to mention privileged persons who have given victimhood the social capital it needed to thrive in a world that desires to progress toward exposing its collective place of hurt. In fact, we have all had at one time or another placed our victimhood on the alter of messiahs in our own lives at one time or another. The only thing victimhood accomplishes individually and en masse is divisiveness. Divisiveness with others and confliction within us.

To create that hero mindset for harmony in mind, body, and spirit for myself (you too?), I must take ownership of my life. It will take a leap of faith and sometimes a huge leap of faith.

Socrates said, “to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”

I first must be honest and true to myself and understand what I genuinely want and can accept or not accept in my life. Does my personal resume of skills and assets reflect my expectations? Am I living an authentic life rooted in my values or based upon someone else’s expectations?

If I reflect on my past personal relationships romantic, professional, or otherwise, I can see the mirror of my own inadequacies in that community of relationships. I felt the cognitive dissonance in knowing what I was capable of and what I honestly enjoyed doing personally, professionally, and socially versus the life I was living then and sometimes still today.

In looking past that mirror, I also realized I had doubted my strength in my skills and my value. I became to know then as I am confident today that I cannot rely solely on another’s belief in me, but that belief blooms from within me. I often forget that piece of wisdom as I am sure you do too. We need to remind ourselves daily we have strong resources within us and value we can offer to the world.

A sharp vision of harmony is needed to motivate me to take the necessary action to bring that vision I want for my life to fruition. We all have from time to time relied on or look toward a human messiah when all we need to do is honestly create vision for ourselves and realize that we have the individual gifts and skills to actualize that vision.

Life is short.

It may take a health crisis, a death of a loved one, a narrow escape or real destruction in our life to keep us from postponing joy. Life is too short to keep oneself in that unhappy place whether it is a physical location, job, a relationship, or a mindset.
……

I have another admission. This is not what I had originally written. After allowing my first draft to marinate, I was ashamed to read that I was picking the pockets of those whose social capital was raised by the ultimate victimhood instigator. I had promised in a previous post here at The Blogging Owl I would not write politically motivated pieces. What I needed to do was empty my own pockets of the receipts I carry to show you that a seeker of harmony in mind, body, and spirit is a lifelong endeavor as we move through the different phases of life. I am mindful of that today and my hope lies in my own understanding and beliefs in what I bring to create a vision of a happier tomorrow for myself. I pray you don’t postpone joy another day either.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Wellness, in living color

FeaturedLeave a comment

What attracts you to certain colors?

What colors do you like to wear opposed to colors you like in your home, office, vehicle, or environment?

What do these colors mean to you? What do they represent?

Sunlight is a perfect blend of seven colors.

Sunlight is a blend of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet – the colors of the rainbow. These seven colors are responsible for the release of various kinds of hormones which keep us healthy. I opine that healthy means in mind, body, and spirit.

Chromotherapy is considered pseudoscience and quackery. The available scientific evidence does not support claims that alternative uses of light or color therapy are effective in treating cancer or other illnesses. Yet in the article, “A Critical Analysis of Chromotherapy and Its Scientific Evolution” written by Samina T. Yousuf Azeemi and S. Mohsin Raza states, “Colors have a profound effect on us at all levels – physical, mental, and emotional. If our energy levels are blocked or depleted then our body cannot function properly, and this is in turn can lead to a variety of problems at various levels.” (Click on this link to read the full article – https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1297510/)

Wellness, in living color

This post is not to debate whether chromotherapy is quackery or a valid medical alternative. The post is a compilation of the meaning and symbolism of colors and how color can influence our lives in mind, body, and spirit.

RED – Passion

Red brings warmth, energy, and stimulation; therefore, it is good for energy, fatigue, colds, chilly and passive people. Red energizes the heart and blood circulation. It builds up the blood and heightens a low blood pressure by energizing all organs and senses.

When you are “seeing red” does it mean feeling angry or does it create a sense of power?

Red is the color of passion and energy which draws attention like no other color. It radiates a strong and powerful energy what motivates us to take an action. It is also linked to sexuality and stimulates sleep and intimate passion. Red is ubiquitously used to warn and signal caution and danger.

The spiritual meaning of red is passion. Biblically, it’s the first of three primary Biblical colors. The Hebrew word for red is Odeum meaning “red clay” – the root word for humankind. In Christianity, the passion is to “suffer, bear, endure” and the Passion of the Christ is the final period in the life of Jesus Christ.

While red symbolizes action, strength, energy and passion, the effects of red draws attention, motivates, stimulates, and is cautious which is why red is viewed as a power color. Red is used to energize and invigorate a person who might be feeling tired or down. However, red may also trigger people who may already be feeling tense.

The positives of red are manifested in sexuality, courage, desire, and confidence. The negatives of red are anger, danger, revenge, and aggression.

ORANGE – Playful

Orange stimulates creativity, productivity, as well as, pleasure, feelings of optimism, enthusiasm, and emotional expression. Orange can activate the playfulness within to elicit happy emotions. The bright warm color is also thought to be able to stimulate appetite and mental activity.

The spiritual meaning of orange is the mixing of red (flesh) and yellow (trials) producing the color of fire, deliverance, and passionate praise. Biblically, orange symbolizes the Fire of God.

Enthusiasm and emotion are represented in the color of orange thereby exuding warmth and joy.

The fire color provides emotional strength. The optimistic and uplifting characteristics of orange adds youthful spontaneity and energetic positivity to life while encouraging social communication and creativity.

While the positive side of orange is spontaneity, creativity, warmth and positivity, the negative side of orange is exhibitionism, superficiality, impatience, and domination.

YELLOW – Happiness

Yellow increases neuromuscular tone. It purifies the blood, aids in digestion, and has a cleansing effect. Yellow strongly stimulates happiness and brings on a sense of security. Yellow, like the sun, provides a strong feeling of well-being.

Yellow also increases the characteristics of fun, humor, lightness, personal power, intellect, logic, and creativity. In short, yellow can improve mood, happiness, and optimism.

With its cheerful and energetic happiness and optimism, yellow brings fun and joy to the world. Yellow makes learning easier as it affects the logical part of the brain, stimulating mentality and perception. Yellow inspires thought and curiosity boosting confidence and enthusiasm.

The spiritual meaning of yellow is faith, joy, anointment, and the Glory of God. Biblically, yellow is the second primary color and is associated with fire, which in turn, has always been associated with the purification process.

Are you cowardly and afraid or creative and warm?

Symbolizing happiness, optimism, positivity, and intellect, yellow effects clarity, inspiration, amusement, and energy. The positive side of yellow is creativity, perception, mentality, and warmth while the negative side of yellow is cowardice, deception, egotism, and caution.

GREEN – Harmony

Green is the color of nature and the earth. Green regulates the pituitary gland, fights depression, bulimia, and other psychosomatic conditions affecting the gastric system. It is useful in calming the nervous system, fights irritability, insomnia and can be used to assist in the recovery of a nervous breakdown.

Green is also the color of harmony and health. Green is generous. It is a relaxing color that revitalizes the body and mind. It balances the emotions leaving us to feel safe and secure. Green elicits hope with promises of growth and prosperity.

The spiritual meaning of green is acceptance. Green spiritually symbolizes praise, growth, new beginnings, to flourish, and restoration. Biblically, the color of green is immortality. It is symbolic of the resurrection which we see each spring.

Are you green with envy or have the luck of the Irish?

Green symbolizes harmony, safety, growth, and health. The effect of green revitalizes, balances, relaxes, and encourages. The positives of green are generosity, hope, prosperity, and luck; the flip side of green is judgment, envy, materialistic, and inexperience.

BLUE – Calmness

Blue is calming. Blue stimulates the parasympathetic system, reducing blood pressure, calming both breathing and heart-rate. It also has an anti-inflammatory effect and relaxes the muscles. Blue fights both physical and mental tension and is used often in relaxation techniques.

While increasing calmness, blue increases communication, honesty, self-expression, and the appreciation of beauty. Blue is the color of trust and loyalty providing peace while helping us to feel confident and secure.

The spiritual meaning of blue is heaven, authority, and biblically, the Holy Spirit. Blue is the third primary color in the Bible that spiritually signifies the Healing Power of God. The blue sky stands for the presence of God.

Are you feeling blue, or did it appear out of the blue?

Blue dislikes confrontation and too much attention, but it is honest, dependable, and supportive. Blue symbolizes security, trust, loyalty and responsibility and the effects of blue are to protect, calm, relax, and be supportive. The positives of blue are confidence, peace, honesty, and reliability while the negative side of blue is conservative, passive, depressed, and predictable.

INDIGO – Spirituality

Indigo is used to aid emotional distress. It helps to process grief and sadness, restoring youth and bringing you closer to your feelings. Indigo stimulates self-responsibility, inner strength, creative visualization, intuition, calmness, and discernment. Indigo provides the universal flow to meditation, artistic qualities, and imagination promoting peace, love, kindness, truth, inner peace, emotional depth, and devotion.

In other words, indigo inspires us to divulge our innermost thoughts which enlightens us with wisdom of who we are, our purpose, and encourages spiritual growth. Indigo is often associated with royalty and luxury; it has mystical and magic to spark creative fantasies.

Spiritually, purple symbolizes royalty, mediator, wealth which biblically it means priesthood. In the Bible, purple is obtained by mixing red symbolizing flesh and blue which is the Word of God.

Are you born to royalty or spiritually discerning?

Indigo symbolizes spirituality, mystery, royalty, and imagination. Indigo effects enlightenment, inspiration, uplifts and encourages. The positive side of indigo is compassion, fantasy, wisdom, and creativity; yet the negative effects are sensitivity, vigilance, immaturity, and emotions.

VIOLET – Compassion

Violet stimulates the compassion and sympathy making us feel loved, comforted, and loved. Violet has a playful spirit that is calming and nurturing bringing joy and warmth. Violet intuitively helps to express gratitude, respect, and softness.

Violet spiritually means to be in the right relationship with God and can also symbolize new birth.

Are you in good health or in good graces?

The love and compassion of violet can symbolize femininity and beauty which has effects sympathy, calmness, nurturing, and comforting. Violet’s positives are kindness, warmth, romance, and intuition. Violet can be emotional, timid, immature, and unconfident.

Colors – the varying hues

All seven colors have varying hues. Violet and pink are hues between red, purple, and blue. Or you may be drawn to turquoise or teal the varying hue between green and blue that stabilizes emotions and increases empathy and compassion – the hues of calmness and clarity.

What about neutral colors?

Brown – the color of stability and reliability which symbolizes the dependability and comfort of a great counselor. Who is the friend full of wisdom when you need an honest opinion that is supportive and protective. Yet brown spiritually symbolizes the end of season and pride.

Black – While symbolizing power, sophistication, and elegance, also spirituality symbolizes death, depression, sadness, and destruction. Are you blacked out, or in the black? Black can be seductive and intimidating and yet shows strength and prestige.

Gray – the neutral of neutrals, practical, unemotional. Conservative and mature can also be pessimistic and indecisive. Gray symbolizes something undefined but also has soothing, reliable presence as well. It is a gray area to be sure.

White – Healing

White is the true color of healing. White is to be directed into that place that needs healing and treatment to help heal whatever ails us. Is this why medical and spiritual practitioners wear white? White is commonly thought to purify, protect, inspire, and seeks the truth. Spiritually, white means victory, blessedness, peace, light, and symbolizes angels and saints.

White is the color of purity and innocence and is the true balance of all colors. White loves to make others feel good and provides hope and clarity by refreshing and purifying the mind. White promotes open-mindedness and self-reflection.

While white can negatively be boring, cold, empty, and distant. White shows goodness, hope, clarity, and openness as its’ positive traits.

The Benefits of Color

I often ask people their top three colors they like or attracted to and often the answer is, “it depends.” Are they colors I enjoy wearing? Are they colors that I like to be surrounded by in my home or environment?

I am drawn to colors that invoke pleasant memories and feelings.

Green gives me hives.

This may come as a shock to people who personally know me. I do agree that green brings harmony to the world. My favorite seasons are spring and summer as the gray/brown earth turns green. It fills me with hope and positive expectations.

However, there are two reasons why I will not wear green. In the mid-80’s, I bought a lovely, smart, grass-green pantsuit at Lord & Taylor. I loved it until someone at the office told me I looked like a Leprechaun. Secondly, John Deere green is the color of a rival college team and for that reason alone, green gives me hives.

Orange was my ultimate favorite color in high school. My parents even allowed me to have orange shag carpeting and orange walls in my room. Please remember this was the 1970’s. I find orange detestable now unless it citrus or flowers.

My top two colors however have always been consistent throughout my adult life – blue and yellow. These two colors have both deep meaning for me involving childhood and adult memories, as well as I find them to be healing both in what I like to wear, my home, and in nature.

My third color is really a tie between purple, white, and melon.

White is clean and spiritual, but it does hold an unfortunate memory. When I was 16 years old, I begged my mother to allow me to have white pants. She finally relented when her tomboy-daughter promised to not stain them. The first day I wore them, I was driving home from track practice and while crossing a busy freeway, I hit a passing semi-truck totaling my parents brown 1972 Gran Torino. When I was pulled from the car, dazed, and confused, the only words I muttered was, “mom is going to kill me.” Blood was spattered all over my new white pants. It was also the first day my parents let me drive the family car to school.

I find purple and melon both in nature and in my wardrobe to be beautiful and playful. So, I will leave those two colors as my third color depending upon my mood or environment.

I do believe color has therapeutic effects on the mind, body, and spirit that can promote healing and instill harmony in my life. What colors are you attracted to and why? Do colors instill harmony in your life?

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Journaling, gardening the soul

Featured2 Comments

Writer, Emma Dibdin states in her article, The Mental Health Benefits of Journaling, that “expressive writing through journaling can be a powerful way to process stress, trauma, and different emotions.” I refer to journaling as gardening of the soul. Journaling digs into the dirt weeding out invasive thoughts, fertilizing the heart, and watering the spirit keeping the mind, body, and spirit in balance.

One does not need to have perfect penmanship, grammar, and proper sentence structure to journal. My journal is riddled at times with just words and phrases with the complete thoughts and memories taking shape, if at all, many pages, and days or even months later. I call my journal a prayer journal because I lift these word fragments up for clarity and meaning. Oftentimes, I receive it and other times patience is the virtue. A journal can have any name or no name at all.

Journaling, write or type

MasterClass explores the pros and cons of writing versus typing in their article, Handwriting vs. Typing: What are the Benefits of Writing by Hand? I, personally, find the benefits of handwriting for the purpose of journaling outweigh those of typing. Handwriting helps me to be disciplined and thoughtful and when I look back at my journal entries days, months, or even years later I can readily recall my mood and mindset by virtue of my handwriting. My penmanship appears authentic more so than typed words. Journaling need not be kept to handwriting or typing either. Painting, pencil drawing, or photography are great formats for journaling. Thus, there are no hard and fast rules for journaling. Actor, Johnny Depp remarked that his body is a journal when asked about all his many tattoos. To each their own when it comes to journaling.

I use lined Moleskin™ journals that I carry with me throughout the day as anything may spur an opinion, a reflection, a question to ponder. Journaling turns me into an observer not only from within but of the world and relationships around me. If you find it difficult get into the swing of journaling, there are scores of journals with ready-made journal prompts to get you hooked on journaling.

Journaling, a personal memoir

Journaling has become a form of survival for me. Journaling is an anxiety drug, addictive, yes but without the negative consequences. After years of keeping a journal, I briefly fell out of the habit. I began journaling again by looking at the process of keeping a journal as writing a letter everyday sometimes in the form of a prayer. Writing provides a form of clarity that brings with it a unique perspective that may not appear immediately much like the answers to my prayers but later when there is an opportunity to process the information fully in mind, body, and spirit.

The chaos of the world coupled with any chaos in mind, body, and spirit can make it difficult on some days to organize or even motivate me to open my journal. During these times I may copy Biblical verses, meaningful quotes as well as paste photos in my journal to help center myself to dig deeper into what I am thinking and feeling.

In my last blog post, Harmony, the political season, I mentioned having a response ready for those who may want to engage me in sensitive, divisive, or personal topics such as politics, religion, or personal health matters. Journaling helps to define my responses, and in doing so, helps me to define my values and beliefs to be confident in expressing myself to others. My expressions do not always come out right but humanity in of itself is always a work in progress. Grace is powerful like the habit of daily journaling.

Journaling is like physical exercise. It can be difficult to get started but once you find that time in your day to make room for it, you will eventually see the benefits of it in mind, body, and spirit. If you want to achieve greater harmony in life, I strongly recommend the daily habit of journaling in whatever form suits you. You will eventually see a beautiful garden begin to bloom in every season.

Peace,

Harmony, the political season

Featured1 Comment

The political election cycle is in high gear. It has been stuck there for the last several decades. Nonetheless harmony in mind, body, and spirit will surely be tested during this election season especially in the after light of the insurrection of January 6, 2021.

In his Detroit Free Press column of July 17, 2022, “The cable news rules: it’s better to attach than to defend,” award-winning sports journalist and author, Mitch Albom writes, “So ask yourself, if you’ve stopped consuming news, is it because it is too negative or not negative enough?… Are we root, root, rooting for the home team to fail more than win, and if they don’t win is it really a shame, or pretty-much what we wanted?” This question was in response as Albom writes, “is from an Axios report that came out the previous week, claiming that cable news viewing amongst the three major outlets has dropped dramatically in the U.S., ‘down 19% in prime time for the first half of this year compared to the first half of 2021.’”

Opinions are plenty, truth is scarce.

I mention this Detroit Free Press article because I do not watch cable news. It is not journalism seeking truth but seeking opinions. Opinions are not necessarily bad after all I am giving my opinion here. It may resonate with you or it may not. However, I cannot engage in personal political conversations when people do not obtain current news from multiple written sources so they can weigh in and corroborate the truth versus media propaganda. Sadly, few people take the time to do so. They listen intently to their favorite television or podcast source. I admit I do not always get it right either, but I am willing to discuss politics and current events when the other person has put in the effort.

Truth, supply and demand

If we replace the words “goods and services” with “truth” in Merriam-Webster’s definition of supply and demand, it reads, “The amount of truth that is available for people to buy compared to the amount of truth that people want to buy. – If less truth that the public wants are produced, the law of truth demands that more can be charged for the truth.”

So, what am I trying to say here? I am asking, what is the supply and demand for truth? Truth people want to hear compared to what the facts bear out as truth. Is it just a game of ratings? Is just a game as to which party can score more wins than losses without regard to the benefits for their constituents? The PACT Act that would have expanded veterans healthcare is a good case in point.

Mark Twain once said, “it’s easier to fool people than convince them they have been fooled.”

And so goes the current cable news media and partisan politics.

Spanish philosopher, George Santayana is credited with axiom, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” While Winston Churchill wrote, “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

The difference between the two statements is remembering and learning. Many people have never learned our true history because it was never taught accurately which is currently a hot topic; and one cannot remember that which was never learned. History was obviously not a favorite subject for many until the truth came out about it.

Political history

I will fully admit my politics have evolved tremendously since I voted in my first presidential election in 1980. My activist heart has been hurtful to others at times during the evolvement of my personal views particularly leading up to and past the 2016 and 2020 elections. I am not willing to set aside my activist heart in the upcoming elections, however, I will not be divisive, and I hope you will not be either. We can see where the name-calling memes and partisan bashing has led us to today’s political climate.

As my political views have evolved so has my spirit. Some who know me personally would say my right-leaning has shifted to left-leaning. I would counter that I lean on my heart and the words of James 1:26-27 (GW). God knows my heart as He knows everyone’s heart, the faithful and the unfaithful. Not only must my relationship with God be right, but the outward expression of that relationship must also be right. If a person believes in God or not, history (or God, in my opinion) will bring us back to the same point over and over again until we learn the lesson of humanity. Whether it arises from our impulsive nature or inherent self-seeking superiority, God and/or history is trying to impress upon us the one thing that is entirely not right in our lives.

We are all human underneath the genders, the pronouns, the racial, religious, and ethnic colors.

Let me repeat. We are all human. We are bound to each other for better or for worse.

It is an individual’s choice to allow each other the patience to have its perfect work. If we can travel this road without the bashing, the bullying, the bloodshed, the rage, then one by one we can make the difference by having necessary inclusive conversations by withholding unnecessary propaganda opinions. Unfortunately, Christian nationalism does not allow individual choice. It does not have ears to hear, hearts to love, or minds to embrace diversity.

How do we maintain harmony in search of truth during a contentious political election cycle?
I will hold firm to my values. I will hold my tongue no matter the taste of blood, if necessary. My actions, my purse, and my vote will do my talking.

“If a person thinks that he is religious but can’t control his tongue, he is fooling himself. That person’s religion is worthless. Pure, unstained religion, according to God our Father, is to take care of orphans and widows when they suffer and to remain uncorrupted by this world.” James 1:26-27 (GW)

This will likely be my last post regarding politics and the upcoming election cycle. I have my response ready to those who may want to engage me in political conversations. Who wants to vote on it?

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

2022 Words to Live By, a mid-year update

FeaturedLeave a comment

The following is an update to my post on November 26, 2021. “2022 Words to Live By.”

This week will be the first anniversary of moving to our forever house near the shore of Lake Michigan. It is often said that what a difference a year can make in one’s life and yet many things stay the same.

For example, Lake Michigan’s conditions often are ripe for rip currents. The location of rip currents can be difficult to predict; some tend to recur always in the same places, but others can appear and disappear suddenly at various locations along the beach. A rip current is strongest closest to the surface. What most beachgoers do not understand is the surface of a rip current often is a smooth area of water without breaking waves, and this deceptive appearance may cause some beachgoers to believe that it is a suitable place to the enter the water.

“Each day is the scholar of yesterday.” Publilius Syrus

Wholeness

Wholeness pertains to all aspects of human nature, especially one’s physical, intellectual, and spiritual development.

The appearance and disappearance of rip currents is dependent on the bottom topography and the exact direction from which the surfs and swells are coming. The spirit is the bottom topography of life; and it is that foundation that takes on the existence of rip currents in mind and body.

How does one survive a rip current?

A person caught in a rip current can be swept away from shore very quickly because rip currents are extraordinarily strong and move perpendicular to the shore. Drownings occur when the swimmer panics exhausting themselves by fighting against the force of the current.

The most important thing to remember when ever I am caught in a rip current in water or in life is not to panic. Continue to breathe, try to keep my head above water, and do not exhaust myself fighting against the force of the current. The best way to escape a rip current is by swimming parallel to the shore instead of towards it, since rip currents are often narrow in width.

Habits

Panic is one of the most difficult habits to break when in the middle of one of life’s rip currents especially when it comes to physical survival. If every habit has 3 components: a trigger, a routine, and a reward, then what reward can there be in the habit of panicking?

Is it a desire for sympathy? Is it the loneliness for attention? Or is it a cry for help?

For harmony to exist in mind, body, and spirit in my life, I have made the conscious decision to stop cancer’s outspoken narrative. I thought by controlling the narrative of speaking out on my diagnosis with chronic myeloid leukemia that I may also have inspiring affect on others who carry a similar health burden. No matter how you may look upon my openness to speak on it, I have decided that I have given this rip current too much power. I will no longer speak privately or publicly about it instead I will just swim parallel to it.

Perspective

Over the July 4th holiday, my sons and I had a chance to catch up and communicate about our changing perspectives on life. We were able to frankly discuss the topics closest to the surface and the deceptive appearance of each other’s life. After discussing all the relevant data in a meaningful way, they know their haven is on the shore with family at this idyllic place on Lake Michigan.

Perspective has been a key word to live by so far in 2022 both professionally and personally. I am breaking the habit of perfectionist thinking. Funny how a rip currents in mind and body can make us believe we can control outcomes when all we need to do is relax and allow the waves to eventually bring us ashore. It further confirms my perspective that harmony in mind, body, and spirit is allowing the spirit to lead the way.

Word to live by

What will these three words, wholeness, habits, and perspective continue to teach me as I live by them? I do not know. I am too busy sunning myself at the beach living them today.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Caring, the well of self-worth

FeaturedLeave a comment

Psychology says, “the less you care, the happier you will be.”

Jesus Christ preached in The Sermon on the Mountain, “So, I tell you to stop worrying about what you will eat, drink, or wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothes?”

The comedian, George Carlin quipped, “when I first heard the song, Don’t Worry – Be Happy, I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would be a great national anthem along with Me First.”

Caring, the well of self-worth

Doe the responsibility of caring fall on each of us, or does it depend on the subject matter?

There are people whom you may know that seemingly care too deeply. You may also know that person who lacks one iota of empathy. Are you one or the other? Or do you fall somewhere in between?

The new buzzword ‘self-care’ in these pandemic times and according to the influx of countless docu-series causes this owl to step back and ponder the ethics of caring about anything.

When it is all too much to care or not to care can lead to any number of different responses:

• Oversimplification
• Angry outbursts
• Impatient mistakes
• Sullen silence
• Convenient deafness

When is less caring more or caring more irresponsible?

Whether it is that new catchphrase work-life balance, over-indulgent, narcissistic relationships, media tinnitus, or pandemic isolation that is causing me to wonder about my caring gene or the caring genes of others, it must be time to clean out the owl box and set new caring boundaries.

Happiness is inconsistent. Happiness is bipolar, a transistor of positive and negatives charges that motivates a particular caring response.

We can ask the questions:

Does caring less make one happier?

Is there less anxiety when one cares less about how much food and clothes one has?

Does singing an anthem of me first an unethical response to the treatment of others?

I contend there is a time to care and there is a time to put the caring in the fuck-it bucket and the only thing one needs to care about at that precise moment is answering the question, who is hurting right now, this second? Chances are the person asking the question.

I have learned from my own experience with leukemia the connection between caring and happiness. Setting boundaries in our friendships, family relationships, and work identity is key to caring for ourselves, others, and the hurting world we live.

The harmony of caring in mind, body, and spirit comes from our own well of self-worth. When one cares enough about their own mind, body, and spirit, then one knows how much and when to care on any given day beyond oneself. If each of us gave up all the self-evaluating about how much we have or when we will have it, about the imminence of death, life after death, and death itself, perhaps we can begin to care about purpose of our caring and live a happier life before death.

Peace,

Abortion, mind-body-spirit

FeaturedLeave a comment

If the U.S. Supreme Court overturns Roe vs Wade then the U.S. Supreme Court must demand its government and citizens to provide the following:

~ Paid healthcare for mom and baby to survive and live a healthy life
~ Paid mental health services for mom and baby to survive and live a healthy life
~ Paid childcare so Mom and baby can survive and live a healthy life
~ Gun control to enforce the ideal that life is more important than owning an automatic assault weapon so Mom and baby can survive and live a healthy life
~ Paid adoption costs for parents wanting to adopt so biological Mom and baby can survive and live a healthy life

These are just a few of the demands that must be met so for all who believe that women should not have the choice for decisions over their own bodies. Babies are not created solely by women’s actions or bodies, but women are the ones who in mind, body, and spirit must bear the consequences.

Happy Mother’s Day, the march continues for healthy lives in mind, body, and spirit!

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Empathy, uncomfortable shoes

FeaturedLeave a comment

Corporate communications employ a question at the end of their email to determine who and how many people have read what has been emailed. This past week’s corporate communications question resulted in a vast majority of readers preferring to walk in shoes with a tiny pebble versus wearing wet socks.

It is easy to flick a tiny pebble from the bottom of a shoe versus having to sit down to take off the shoes and then struggle to tug off a wet sock. Wet socks take more time and effort than a pebble. Empathy is much like the pebble versus wet socks question. The Dali Lama would remind us, “Empathy is the most precious quality.”

Empathy, uncomfortable shoes

My current favorite television series is Billions on Showtime®. I am deeply affected by the character, Taylor Mason, a non-binary on the show played by the actor, Asia Kate Dillon who is also non-binary and uses singular they pronouns in real life. I love the character and they are an extraordinary actor particularly in the role of Taylor Mason. Asia has the German word, ‘Einfühlung’ tattooed on the left side of their neck which translates to ‘empathy.’ I would like that same tattoo albeit not on the neck (ouch!) which is precisely the point of its’ placement by my guess.

I am walking in the shoes of the singular they pronouns in my own life as my son’s partner desires to be referred to as they, them, theirs. I admit I have stumbled in my pebbled shoe, yet I am beginning to become more accustomed to using singular pronouns while others in their wet socks grumble.

What moves me to feel and see as the other person?

Empathy requires a conscious component to intelligence, a self-awareness, and rationality. I would be unlikely to have the ability to entertain someone else’s perspective without a phenomenal consciousness like the proverbial pebble. It is that awareness that allows me to understand how others experience joy and pain, and not just humans. If I do not exploit this innate empathy gene, I can miss how it plays a role in my life from being able to have meaningful relationships, maintaining social order, to enjoying the humanities.

It is not enough to simply say, “I hear you.”

No matter what was done to me, and no matter what was done to another, we each have a soul. To participate in life, we are intimately involved with the fate of others and they in us. Only empathy, that expression of love, can connect my soul to another soul. When we walk in uncomfortable shoes of empathy whether it is expressed for own self-care or for others, we restore that lost connection to the soul that had required a tremendous amount of shame.

Empathy brings humans together and I will go further to say all earthly creatures by encouraging a sense of interconnectedness. Self-awareness of our feelings and belief systems are a part of that interconnectedness through our development of empathy. We do not have to sacrifice our own feelings or beliefs for that of another’s. In fact, the development of empathy and mutual respect frees us from the bond of isolation and the exaggeration of fear. Empathy is that essential quality to attaining harmony in mind, body, and spirit.

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

Happiness, Finding purpose

Featured2 Comments

I have not posted here in the last two weeks. To be honest, I was not feeling it. Unusual. Uncharacteristic.

What I am feeling is depression. Despair. Delusion.

Last week during the wellness segment of an operational Teams® meeting, a graphic was put upon the screen about defining happiness. It read,

“Finding purpose in life can bring about positive feelings. Ask yourself:
• What excites me?
• What energizes me?
• What challenges my creativity?
• What makes me feel productive?”

The timing of this graphic query felt odd to me. I felt self-conscious for even considering my happiness while Ukrainian lives are being uprooted and destroyed by Russia’s thug, Vladimir Putin, and his red army.

Happiness, finding purpose

An old colleague of mine once told me that if we have our health and our family, we have all that we need to be happy. What if we do not have one or the other, or even both? What if we no longer have a country?

Each person has a unique experience to life. The trajectory toward happiness is not the same for each person. There are often fluctuations in an individual’s happiness depending on their current life stage – independence, climbing the pay scale, marriage and children, retirement, then back to dependence – hence, the circle of life. Managing the expectations of each life stage can make or break the happiness code.

I have listed below a few quotes on happiness and reflecting on their words may help us to define our own happiness and find purpose in our current stage of life.

Our far-flung faculty, joined by assorted scribes, sages, and stars, offer up their “Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness.” –Merrill Markoe, humor writer

“Happiness is touching someone and making their life better. This last year I went to Russia to train women to set up their own domestic violence shelters, and to give them hope that they could make things better for women in their society, as we have in the U.S. I was happy to have made a difference.” –Lynn Gold-Bikin, J.D., chairperson of the American Bar Association’s Family Law Section

“Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” –Samuel Johnson, 18th-century English philosopher

“Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” –Linus Pauling, Nobel Prize-winning scientist

“Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!” –Jane Austen

“The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not our circumstances.” –Martha Washington

“To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition.” — Martha Stewart

“Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family–in another city,” –George Burns

“The deepest happiness comes from relationships with others–the mythic ‘touching of souls’–a parent and a child, a couple in love, best friends, the selfless helping of one another.” –Frank Farley, professor of psychology, Temple University

“We are becoming a nation of people who, in their quest for happiness, all too often fall short of achieving any kind of inner peace. . . We think that by always reaching higher, accomplishing more, more money, a better body, the perfect mate–that we will automatically be happy That’s an illusion. All this reaching is making us crazy. We need to rest.” –Melvyn Kinder, clinical psychologist

“I’m as happy as a man can get, without arousing suspicion.” –Hal Kantor, screenwriter

“There is no 12-step program to happiness, or to its longer-lasting cousin, satisfaction. Some people think a happy society can be achieved by suppressing individualistic desires; others believe individual happiness can be attained without attending to the needs of others. But individual and social needs shape each other. Lasting happiness requires constant negotiation and redefinition of both personal and societal goals.” –Stephanie Coontz, Ph.D., family historian and author of The Way We Never Were

“You never find happiness until you stop looking for it.” –Chuang Tzu, Chinese philosopher, 5th-6th century B.C.

“Happiness is absorption in a cause which in the end is but illusion.” –Joseph Campbell

“If there were in the world today any enormous number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years.” –Bertrand Russell

“Happiness is a blue sky, without clouds.” –Alfred Hitchcock

“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.” –Edith Wharton

Taking my own parental advice

When my two sons were in their teens and the topic of college and career would come up, my advice to them was simply this, “Pursue your passion, find your purpose.” My oldest son, who pursued a fine arts degree in photography and has his photography being shown in art exhibitions. My youngest son is applying his cultural anthropology degree in a field his father and I could not have imagined. Only they can speak to their true level of happiness but I hear it in our conversations unless it turns to the subjects of food, gas, and healthcare costs, political and world affairs. Yet, we know there will always be bad things happening in the world and the question then becomes, “what we are doing to create happiness in the world?”

I guess, I already knew the answers to the questions listed in that graphic. Life is short no matter what stage of life and health we are in because all we need do is look at the world around us. When we pursue our passion, we find our purpose and harmony in mind, body, and spirit will surely follow.

Peace,

Perseverance, a supreme effort

FeaturedLeave a comment

A few weeks ago, a friend messaged me. I had not heard from them in months since leaving the department we both worked. They let me know they had failed an exam that was necessary to moving to the next level of their career. They were upset to say the least and I knew what was also going through their mind. I did not have to even ask. Was their health condition holding them back in being able to remember the material to pass the exam. I knew that was the question and more than likely the root of their anger more than the exam. They reached out because they knew I would listen. They also knew I understood the brain fatigue that can happen with an incurable illness. We understood our commonalities without having to voice them. I told them that not everyone passes the exam the first time. Step back. Reflect. Study. Do not give up.

I reached out to them again the other day to check on how they were doing. They immediately messaged back to let me know they passed the exam. They knew more than what they thought they did was their response. I told them that I knew they would pass the test and that I was proud of them.

Perseverance, a supreme effort

I have not always been a good listener. Listening can take perseverance even listening to ourselves.

Endurance vs Perseverance

Everyone can endure when tested, but not everyone can persevere. Endurance is not a choice. Perseverance is supreme effort. It is endurance combined with absolute assurance and certainty that what we are looking for is going to happen. Perseverance is letting go of the fear of failing while endurance is hanging on to what we are currently doing.

Is the goal worth the perseverance?

I have learned in my own experiences that there is no shame in enduring and persevering does not always make a winner. The stepping back for 24 hours, a few weeks or years to reflect is a critical step in the process of achievement of any goal. The adage, timing is everything is only the half of it. Just like another truth – we cannot conclusively time the market. If we could do that then we would all be rich. The point is we know more than we think we do, but we do not always execute at the right time.

Is the grass greener, the air more refreshing, the sky bluer on the other side?

I am not advocating procrastination, wringing of the hands, and wondering whether to move here or there, do this or that. It is about evaluating risk.

Step back – ask the question why? Why do I want …?

Reflect – ask the question what? What happens after …?

Study – ask the question when? When is the right time or ever for…?

How to pass the test is letting go of the fear to hear the answers. Harmony in mind, body, and spirit may be in the enduring or in the persevering. We know more than what we think we do. We just have to trust our answers.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Anger, an inner cold war

FeaturedLeave a comment

Whether Russia does indeed invade Ukraine (which appears to be imminent) or not, was the cold war between Russia and the United States ever really over?

In the last 15 years or so, other cold wars have been brewing.

Anger, an inner cold war

From the Great Recession of 2008 to the Great Resignation of 2022 and everything in between from the rise of domestic terrorism everywhere including our schools, political unrest, white supremacy, natural disasters to the slide of Christianity, the January 6th insurrection toward the destruction of U.S. democracy, is it any wonder that harmony in mind, body, and spirit is elusive?
All these cumulative events have made us more anxious, depressed, and angry not to mention what is going on in our own individual lives.

There is an intense state of resentful antagonism between our inner desires and worldly demands – an inner cold war that has been steeping for far too long now. Bitterness fertilized by our own personal bias, decisions, circumstances, and place of hurt.

Some people believe that things happen for a reason and no matter how traumatic, gratitude is the answer. I do not share that belief. If that were true, God would be okay with the origins of my place of hurt, leukemia that is not yet in remission, and now, another possible scary health condition. I told myself and others when I was diagnosed that I was not sad and that I was not angry. I lied. I just did not know it then. I am also not grateful, at least not for leukemia and whatever else I may be diagnosed with, and certainly not for my individual place of hurt.

How do we become more resilient?

I believe most of us would agree that innovative approaches to mental health are necessary. Medications are helpful and even lifesaving but cannot be the only answer. I have written on numerous occasions that our personal place of hurt cannot be healed unless we achieve inner harmony which is feeling known and valued by important others. It is the key to our well-being in mind, body, and spirit. All we see in the world today especially since the beginning of the COVID pandemic proves we are at the tipping point of our own inner cold war.

Mind, body, and spirit in their separate silos have differing levels of harmony, if any at all. Yet, one or two cannot make up for the others.

We normally see time as our enemy. Time running out, good experiences ending too soon, and taking away our youth, our looks, our health, our future and eventually our lives. Yet time is an ever present-present factor. It is essential for us to find a positive way of relating to it and to what consumes us. Resiliency, our ability to bounce back from whatever ails us is measured not in the pills that physicians throw at us to keep us going, to keep us living, but speaking our truth and taking steps to bring harmony back into our daily lives even if it is for the first time. If the Great Resignation is any indicator, more people are recognizing their inner cold war and taking steps to being mindful of time.

Building resiliency to win the inner cold war

Connect with empathetic and understanding people.
Take care of your body.
Practice mindfulness.
Write your way through it in a daily journal.
Help others.

Whether we are ill in mind, body, and spirit or all three, our resiliency can be difficult to summon. Time is not on our side. It never was. However, harmony is still achievable and for that I am grateful.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Perspective, my last nerve died

Featured2 Comments

Preview in new tab

COVID lingers in variants. The news media is on an automatic loop of mandates and misery. Tic-toc-tic BOOM!

When I decided on my words to live by in 2022, 2 of my 3 words are habits and perspective. The pandemic lockdown and my own self-imposed immunocompromised lockdown have forced me to consider my daily routine.

Is it a habit or a routine?

It is a matter of perspective.

Am I anxious about how I just spent the last 1,440 minutes, or how I will spend the next 1,440 minutes?

Routines can be good if we are talking about children. Routines helped my children create good sleeping habits, for example. Routines, however, quash creativity.

Perspective, my last nerve died

Last week I was told that I was an “anti-crastinator” – the opposite of a procrastinator. While I am a planner personality when my paycheck depends on it, I began to wonder if monetary rewards were my answer to building sustainable habits to ending my boring daily life.

Routines become actions.

There is one routine that has become a daily habit. Journaling. How was I able to sustain that habit without the fishpole with a dollar bill dangling from it? Journaling provides me immense pleasure no matter my disposition.

The enormous body of research and anecdotal evidence says that habit formation starts with small, tenacious steps that forgives transgressions and supports the ultimate high endeavors of achievement. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse.

The first clue.

The harmony in mind, body, and spirit creates a sustainable habit in which not even money can satisfy the power of doing whatever it is whether exercising, a hobby, or a creative project that brings joy. It is forgiveness. What do I mean by that?

The second clue.

The reason I choose three words to live by each year instead of new year resolutions is that resolutions rarely succeed. New Year resolutions fade away usually by this time of year. Choosing words to live by allows me that tenacious transgressional step of the equation not once a year as starting again in a new year but every day no matter my disposition. New year resolutions require perfection or at least I believe they do to the outward world. The ultimate high endeavors of achievement happen when there is harmony in mind, body, and spirit. My journaling for example does not take perfection.

The third clue.

Boredom had killed my last nerve. Getting ourselves out of a rut and developing sustainable habits is difficult. Unsatisfying habits are always unhealthy, even if we do not specifically think of diet and exercise.

A sustainable habit must give us something that we cannot get elsewhere. It must rely on the mind, body, and spirit to achieve it; otherwise, there is no harmony in it irrespective of our disposition.

What is the value of harmony?

Is it a monetary reward? Is in the experience? Is it in the sharing of it with others?

My perspective on habits have been challenged in lockdown. Truthfully, they were challenged before COVID dominated our lives. The pandemic lockdown killed my last nerve by considering how I choose to spend them each day. The news media on their COVID auto-loop has confirmed that I am like so many others assessing daily enrichment.

My anti-crastination has kicked in and I am fully invested in creating sustainable habits that bring harmony into my life in mind, body, and spirit. Who knows? I might just become more physically active, mentally durable, and spiritually alive. If I do not fully achieve habit sustainability? My perspective is on forgiveness and the little anti-crastinator that could. Now, that it harmony!

Peace,

Light, the lasting joy

FeaturedLeave a comment

We entered the new year without one of our guiding lights of joy who would have turned 100 years old today – comedian, actor, animal activist, Betty White. Since her passing, I have wondered about Betty’s seemingly endless joy. She was obviously in good health for her age. Betty worked consistently up to the time of her death acting and raising animal welfare awareness.

Betty seemed to be self-aware of everything she did. She instinctively knew that marrying again after the death of her beloved soulmate and husband, Alan would not bring her joy. She obviously knew that she always needed to be doing things – activities she was enthusiastic about – acting and animals. I still wonder though if she wondered about the secret of longevity or if she marveled at her own.

Light, the lasting joy

I believe that harmony in mind, body, and spirit begins with pushing back the darkness with the light. I do not mean pushing down the darkness and ignoring it, but that the light is a ‘lamp for our feet’ (Psalm 119:105). I do not know if Betty White was a person of any religious faith. Does it matter? Faith is a personal choice.

Joy has been elusive for me these past weeks even though I am a person of faith. Is it the winter doldrums? Is it being in lockdown because of the coronavirus variant pandemic? Is it because I am weary of my perfectionist tendencies in an imperfect world, work, or wondering of my own potential longevity? All of which is out of my control, right?

Joy moments

We need better skills not more products or pills to provide long lasting joy. Although, I am not discounting those with diagnosed mental disorders that may require medication to feel righted in their everyday lives for I am one of those people. Yet, there is more to life than just surviving during the day.

Dalai Lama XIV stated, “There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday, and the other is called tomorrow. Do today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.”

There are 1,440 minutes in a day.

How many minutes are being spent eating and sleeping?
How many minutes are spent scrolling social media or watching television?
How many minutes are reading an article, a work project, or a book?
How many minutes are exercising?
How many minutes are working at a job?
Thankfully, I work remotely and for those who don’t – how many minutes does it take in their daily commute?
How many minutes are interacting with family and friends either in-person or electronically?
How many minutes are playing or walking with pets?

1,440 minutes in a day does not sound like many minutes after answering the questions on basic daily activities. Yet, loneliness abounds even on the busiest days. I wonder if Betty White was ever lonely even on her busiest days.

We can piece joy moments together like taking steps on walk outside in nature or like a puzzle sprawled out on the dining room table. We can find joy in others and in activities, but what skills do we need to find joy within ourselves? Is it serving others? Betty did that with her animal awareness activism and bringing her precious brand of comedy to her acting.

It used to be said at least in the church environment that we are to serve others with our time, talents, and treasures. How many of those do I have? How can I best utilize what I have and squeeze them into 1,440 minutes? I am not being irritable about the question. I am just asking for suggestions sake. Or am I a bit bitter?

The perfectionist and planner-personality in me wants to dwell on this time-talents-treasures thought some more. It would mean however using up precious minutes, and it would also most assuredly, involve yesterday as I would need to revisit what obviously did not work for me then. It would also mean involving tomorrow because I would most assuredly be color-coding the minutes into joyful categories.

As I stated my last blog post, spirituality is a tricky thing. Harmony in mind and body is tricky too when we think about the number of minutes we have in a day. Have I depressed you enough with this post yet? I hope not. I want you to take 3 precious minutes of your day today and do the following:

1. Wish Betty White a happy 100th birthday in heaven today. Rest in peace, dear Betty. (Time)
2. Do one thing you are good at that brings you joy. (Talent)
3. Make a financial contribution today even if it is $5 to an animal rescue in her honor. (Treasure)

Self-awareness is self-care. Betty White was a light, a lasting joy from which we all can learn the skills we need for joy. I will piece them together today to believe, love, and to live.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

RPSM

P.S.

Please consider my favorite rescue, Refurbished Pets of Southern Michigan at www.rpsm.org. My editors, Barkley LeRoy and Penny Louise would like to thank you too.

Wholeness, an unmasking

FeaturedLeave a comment

This past week was the one-year anniversary of the insurrection on the U.S. Capitol. I listened to President Biden address the nation on January 6th about the dangers of losing our democracy.
“I did not seek this fight brought to this capital one year ago today, but I will not shrink from it either,” President Biden says. “I will stand in this breach. I will defend this nation and allow no one to place a dagger at the throat of democracy.”

The divisions in the United States seem to be partisan, Republican vs Democrat, red vs blue, but are they really? Are income inequality, racial resentment, and the people’s declining trust in our institutions really a “versus” anger?

Yesterday, I watched Dave Chappelle’s comedy special on Netflix, “The Closer.” Dave tries to set the record straight on his feelings toward the LBGTQ community – part personal reflection and history lesson – the show takes on a serious perspective rather than comedic on the divisions between communities. How can we laugh about ourselves as human beings and at the same time understand our differences through the lens of another without taking offense?

Anger is fear turned inside out.

Our anger has exposed our fear of our collective places of hurt. How do we find our equilibrium to put away the daggers?

Wholeness, the unmasking

One of my three words to live in 2022, is wholeness. Achieving wholeness, that elusive equilibrium of mind, body, and spirit may just be what we all need this year as we enter the third year of COVID-19 and its variants.

Fear is being less than, incapable of, and believing the worst will happen if others perceive what may happen to be already happening. It causes us to believe the worst will happen and we will not survive it. Our brains are on a treadmill that will not shut off. This brain treadmill actively aids our fear emotion, paralyzing us and resulting in procrastination or a path of talking vs action. (Yes, there is that ‘versus’ word again.)

Fear is holding us hostage from joy.

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy
He who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sunrise
~ from the poem, “Eternity” by William Blake

What is your fear? Let me share mine.

I am not who I am. If you find me out, you may change your perspective of me.

My place of hurt is driven by my fear of failure, feelings of unworthiness that stem from adverse childhood experiences. It has been heightened by my age and now because of my leukemia diagnosis. My fear is being less than, incapable of, and the worst will happen when you find out I am not who I am – the positive, intelligent, spiritual person you thought me to be. And if that happens what becomes of me?

The vicious cycle of worry.

Worry leads to a need for more control, which leads to taking more responsibility, which leads to more exhaustion, which leads to anger and resentment. The defense against anger or resentment is more control. Is that what happened on the steps of the U.S. Capitol? Is that what happens when we strike out from our individual place of hurt?

The underbelly of blessings.

‘Let go, let God’ is a popular spiritual mantra. ‘Resist reaction. Reason rules.’ Has been my often-forgotten mantra. I need a new mantra and perhaps, we all do.

The more we think something the more power we give to it. Am I thinking positively about something or am I thinking negatively?

I cannot change ‘them’ or ‘that,’ but I can change how I react which could result in wholeness.

Every gain has an inherent loss.

I will be ecstatic when I achieve remission from my leukemia, and I will also grieve what the chemotherapy has done to me. Every blessing has an underbelly we did not see coming at the beginning of the journey. We cannot always kick the rocks over in our path to see the other side when we are walking it. The rocks are simply too heavy for us to overturn. Trust is a tricky thing even in spirituality.

To become whole, what we want to change begins within us and must be done with kindness.

Self-aware is self-care.

Authentic Self

I hate that it is taken me so long to get to this point of admission. Yet with patience and kindness I hope you will come to understand me as I want to understand you. We each have a place of hurt. Yours is different than mine although our places of hurt may have shared similarities. May we be safe in using our authentic voices. Mine is not a versus of yours but an agreement of ours. I hope one day we can laugh at ourselves despite our differences to achieve wholeness for us both. May we always have the courage to use our authentic voice.

Wholeness for me personally will be an ongoing struggle but one I hope to achieve. The more I think about wholeness, the more power I give to it. I will think of wholeness like my favorite dessert – a pecan pie with a sweet warm center.

May we all achieve harmony in mind, body, and spirit no matter the rocks in our path or the trickiness in our mantras.

Peace,

Book Review: Not for Writers Only

Featured2 Comments

It is not Christmas unless there are books under the tree. The first book I began reading was, “Writers on Writing – 4 Questions, 55 Writers, Hundreds of Insights & 111 Journal Writing Prompts” written by Chip Scanlan, published by Euclid Grove Publishing, St. Petersburg, FL. The author asks 55 writers and editors 4 questions in a simple question and answer format. The first two lines of the Introduction set the premise of the book:

“What are the secrets of successful writers?

“How do you become one?

Over a third of the way through reading this book, I imagined myself at a cocktail party hosted by Chip Scanlan with his 55 invited guests. I was intrigued by the conversations when I sat on a comfortable sofa opposite of a writer with another impressive resume. Even though they may have an impressive writing resume does not mean they like the table turned with answering questions. Politely excusing myself in need of using the lady’s room, I moved on to finding more interesting conversation.

Mingling among a small group of writers and editors who nodded in agreement with the fourth question posed by Chip, I too found myself nodding in agreement. As I made my way around visiting with the other guests, I ran into a select few that rambled in their answers. It was the guests, however, who were complete in their answers to the questions that I found the most fascinating. They were confident in their writing ‘voice,’ and I would have offered to freshen their drink to continue the conversation further if I knew where to find bar.

At the end of the evening, I thanked my wonderful host, Chip Scanlan with the hope he will invite me again. I will be writing in my journal for weeks to come reflecting on all these insightful conversations.

Not for Writers Only

The book, “Writers on Writing – 4 Questions, 55 Writers, Hundreds of Insights & 111 Journal Writing Prompts” is a marvelous book for writers, people who have a passion for writing, or simply, who want to become writers. Yet what strikes me about this book is that it is not just for writers only. Here are my four reasons I recommend this book and not just for those who are interested in the lives of distinguished writers and editors along with 4 questions of my own.

Profession

Even if you are not a prolific writer or find the subject of writing dull, someone wrote the content of the news program, article, or the podcast you listen to. With the current assault on the media and journalism, this book provides a glimpse into how writers write their content. Let me be clear, the writers and editors Chip Scanlan interviews have impressive resumes. They are not the opinionated bobble-heads on cable news. Why do you believe the readers or listeners connect with these writers and editors?

Conversation

Writers and editors are human too. The four questions the author, Chip Scanlan poses to these 55 people in his words are deceptively simple. Notice that I have never disclosed the four questions because it is impossible to fully appreciate the concept of this book without reading the answers and insights given by the writers and editors.

After reading the book, replace the word writer in each of the four questions with another profession, title, including homemaker or parent. You will find that the answers provided by Chip’s 55 guests are a worthwhile study on how people respond to these questions. Writers on Writing has set me on a course to have more interesting conversations with people I do not know including my next-door neighbor. If you were a writer or editor, what subjects or people interest you?

Education

Writers on Writing, the book itself is insightful into the craft of writing. Use the book to better enhance your own writing and interviewing skills. The four questions Chip Scanlan poses and the 55 answers can help even the person conducting a job interview to the candidate who is applying for the job. Students will find Writers on Writing a helpful resource for school essays and group projects. I found the book to be a must-have resource book for my own writing and blogging. Professionally or personally, what is your opinion on writing?

Reflection

The author, Chip Scanlan is an author after my own heart – journaling! As described on the back of the book’s cover, Chip does indeed make this book an interactive writing workshop. These journal prompts really go after the heart of writing. I love it!! As I mentioned earlier, even if you are not a writer insert your own profession to these the journal writing prompts. You will be considering the world around you in a whole new light. In fact, you may realize you just may be a writer after all. You journal, don’t you?

Hoot Rating

On a 1 to 5 Hoot Rating Scale, The Blogging Owl gives 5-Hoots to “Writers on Writing – 4 Questions, 55 Writers, Hundreds of Insights & 111 Journal Writing Prompts” written by Chip Scanlan.

This book is available on Amazon and other national booksellers, however also consider supporting your local independent bookseller.

Happy Reading (and writing) in the New Year!

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Compassion, a spiritual hunger

FeaturedLeave a comment

Spirituality to me means opening my heart and cultivating my capacity to experience awe, reverence, and gratitude. It is an ability to see the sacred in the ordinary during my day and night, to feel the poignancy of my life, to the know the passion and understand the purpose of my existence by which I give myself over to that which is greater than myself.

The Breadth of Life

Many people have left the church and synagogue because organized religion is not meeting their spiritual needs. It does not mean that people do not believe in God, but they are not feeling connected to God sitting in the traditional pew. Others have become indeed agnostic or are atheists.

The Latin root of the word, spirituality means “breath.”

The trend towards seeking this breath of life in alternative forms of spirituality has figured prominently on the landscape of America for the last several decades and continues to do so. I am not making any judgements on these alternative forms of spirituality. However, when I first noticed my spiritual hunger it was in the summer of 2009. I began to identify my spiritual hunger in conjunction with mental therapy and a new inspiration to learn more about my religious faith.

Compassion, a spiritual hunger

I have attended church throughout my life except for brief periods of straying in my twenties. It was only after losing my career due to the collapse of the U.S. economy in the summer of 2009 that my breath of life was slowing leaving me. I was experiencing such a spiritual hunger even while sitting in my organized, traditional church pew. How could this be?

The central experience at the heart of spirituality is of a comforting stillness that feels reliable and secure.

I was anything but still. Frantic would be a better description of my entire life. I needed to come to terms with who I was, where I was from, and why I felt the way I did. It was that realization that began a “writing my way through it” in my journal, a habit I maintained since childhood. Writing was and continues to be my survival mechanism and my ability to find harmony in mind, body, and spirit. Yet, writing though it was not enough in the ensuing years after 2009.

My spiritual hunger

I began my own path to silence in the words of Mother Teresa’s “A Simple Path” –
The fruit of silence is prayer
The fruit of prayer is faith
The fruit of faith is love
The fruit of love is service
The fruit of service is peace

Although my spirituality is from a Christian perspective, similar ideas are found elsewhere, not only in other religions but other transcendental influences in our lives. I do not judge these other influences because I believe God brings each of us to the point of our own reckoning. The proximity between worldly ego and the soul’s true self increases through exploration, and the advancing of an individual’s maturity and wisdom.

When I truly understood my past and present, I was able to fully appreciate the aim of spiritually and why I was hungering for it. Grace and compassion were lacking in my spiritual diet. Sitting in that church pew for decades and I did not believe in God’s grace and compassion until I was able to feed myself with the grace and compassion for myself. My therapist taught me that lesson not a pastor or a minister. God brought me full circle back to him.

Satisfying a spiritual hunger

I repeat again:

For me, that higher power is God whether I am sitting in an organized church’s pew or sitting on the beach looking out over an eternal expanse of water.

Spirituality does not arrive fully formed without effort. Care of the soul needs to be fed every day for there to be harmony with it in mind and body. Deprived and that spiritual hunger is what we see every day in a life and world without compassion and grace.

Quiet Solitude

How do I do it? How do I find that silence to feed my soul?

Every morning and sometimes throughout the day and evening, I write in my journal. The pages filled with every emotion, pages of questions, requests for redemption and healing, you name it. It is all in there. Every. Single. Day. I ask for His presence – that I may see Him at work in my life, that I hear His words in others, and that I feel the compassion. And when COVID is hopefully in our rearview mirror, I will be in a church pew with a new appreciation for God’s compassion and grace. But I don’t need to be in a pew to know and feel God’s presence.

Wherever I go. Wherever I am. God is there. I am never disappointed. I am fully fed.

My spirituality may not look like yours, but I promise you, that you will not have harmony in life in mind and body without the spirit. The aim of spirituality is compassion. Believe that compassion is available to you, give it to yourself, and then pass it on. God knows, the world desperately needs it right now.

Peace,

Blogging Owl Photo

Grief, sets the table

FeaturedLeave a comment

At Thanksgiving, my oldest son who is a photographer came to visit. He brought from his car bag after bag of which was photography equipment, cameras, lens, film. I asked him if he brought any clothes with him as he lives four hours away and was planning to spend a few days with us. He pointed to a small backpack.

At one point during his stay, he had a few of his photography bags open on the kitchen table and I marveled at all the different sizes of lens that I assumed were just a small portion of his photography cache. I gingerly picked up what I thought to be a zoom lens and marveled at the length and weight of it.

As I began to move my son’s camera equipment so I could set the table for dinner, I wondered about the capability of our own eyes. Even with 20-20 vision, our human eyes do not have the same accommodation to magnify images to see the lovely details and crop out the unwanted subject matter. Our human optical ‘zoom’ lens does not have the physical mechanism as my son’s camera lens. We have instead an emotional lens.

Grief, sets the table

Christmas is a few days away. Whether you are dining alone or with a few close family members, friends or perhaps casting responsible caution to the wind during this ongoing pandemic to seat a large gathering of people, there are many who’s holiday is the beginning of their “year of firsts.”

A missing table setting. An empty chair. A bite of comfort food that has lost its taste.

Grief, sets the table.

Loneliness sits down in the middle of joy’s welcoming table.

In his letter to French scientist Jean-Baptiste Leroy in 1789, Ben Franklin wrote in part, “… but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

If death and taxes are certain then grief is sure to follow both.

While I was contemplating a camera lens at Thanksgiving time, a colleague had just entered her year of firsts with the sudden and unexpected death of her mother from COVID. As I tried to console her without overstepping her grief with my own experience, I was preparing myself for another visit from grief at my Christmas table.

My colleague spoke of becoming an orphan. I spoke of my feeling of abandonment. Whatever the feeling…

Grief, sets the table.

An unsurmountable loss irrespective of the feelings for the one we lose, the future holds “what might have been.”

The loss of my father diminished me. Overwhelmed and unmoored, I tried to come to terms with my grief. I re-evaluated myself and the world in the light of my loss. The attempt to look for meaning was a way to achieve balance amid the instability. Grief led me to maladaptive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

What I needed in my grief was nourishment of support from positive sources. I found few of them. I came from a dysfunctional setting compounded by the suddenness of losing my father three days before Christmas.

the grieving (3)
Whether it is a person, pet, divorce, career, home, or other significant loss…

Grief, sets the table.

It is important to remember that each person setting around the table is experiencing some sort of loss. The chatty Cathy to the silent Simon they are dealing with their loss in their own unique and individual way.

Indian poet and Nobel Laureate Rabindranath Tagore wrote in his poem, “you become an image of what is remembered forever.”

No truer words have been written even more so than death and taxes.

When we call to mind the memories because of the joy or despite their content, we also honor them and ourselves by living a healthy and fulfilled life.

Grief, sets the table.

When we look at our loss through our individual emotional lens, we can either zoom in to see the lovelier details or zoom out to crop out the unwanted subject matter. And the difference between death and taxes is that we can choose to pay the taxes or not.

My recommendation: pay the taxes. Allow grief to drip all the snot out of your head. Allow it to swell up your eyes from shedding all the tears until you fall into a deep sleep for days.

Grief, sets the table.

Then you will be able to move on until the next time when grief sets the table whether it is in your year of firsts or in your 31st year.

This holiday season when you are at the holiday table serve an extra helping of love, grace, and acceptance because you never know what loss someone at the table may be enduring. Grief sets the table for us all.

high cost of loving

In Closing,

If you are experiencing overwhelming grief and finding it difficult to finding the harmony in mind, body, and spirit, I urge you to find support through grief counseling – online, in person therapy, or a local grief support group.

Signs to look for:
1. Suicidal thoughts
2. Symptoms of distress – loss of appetite, insomnia, increased instability and anger or panic attacks
3. Struggling with daily self-care and everyday tasks
4. Denial of the loss
5. Avoidance of familiar places, situations, or social interaction
6. Substance abuse
7. Unexplained illnesses
8. Self-blame for the loss; guilt
9. Plagued with intrusive thoughts or reliving the loss
10. Lack of family or friend support system; or they cannot sustain the length of time of your grief

May you find peace and harmony this holiday season,

Blog - Owl Photo

In memory of my father, LeRoy C. Prielipp, 5/5/38 – 12/22/90

Peace, finding the harmony

Featured2 Comments

A few years ago, during the time that I refer to as the lost years of the U.S. presidency when chaos ruled over character, a dear friend texted me, “you are allowing him to steal your peace” after one of my online rants. I knew the peace she was speaking of, “the peace that surpasses all understanding” from Philippians 4:7.

“Freedom is dearer than bread or joy.” Jessie Sampter, Poet

“Peace is not possible without freedom from which all that prevents it.” s.l. prielipp-falzone, Writer/Poet

Peace, finding the harmony

It is easy to underestimate the power of peace within our mind, body, and spirit. It is not the peace that ignores others or even oneself by shutting down or ignoring what steals our peace. The true form of peace comes from wakefulness (and I am not referring to the trending “woke” terminology).

If there is one thing that I have learned over the past year or so is that when I am at peace I am engaged with life while also feeling relaxed, calm, and safe even despite having leukemia in the middle of a global coronavirus pandemic. Do I dare say that cancer produced gratitude for seeing peace for what it is? … a protection from stress that causes my immune system to grow stronger in body and empowers my spirit?

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live in peace with others.” Peace Pilgrim, Mildred Norman, American teacher

Practicing stillness

Our culture puts demands on us with invasive demands for our attention, a juggling of busyness and responsibilities that sucks out the life-giving marrow from our mind and spirit. The sadness of this predicament is that we allow it.

Every morning (and nighttime) with rare fail and without interruption, I am in my space practicing stillness. No electronic devices. No earbuds. No sound. Nothing but stillness in my favorite chair in the privacy of my bedroom – other times it may be in nature, the backyard, the beach at Lake Michigan behind my house, in the state park near the river or on a trail far from the noise of the world.

I pray. I mediate. I journal. Every. Single. Day.

You may not believe as I do in God, but you have the universe, that sense of transcendental, something eternal, a spirit by another name, something beyond words that is meaningful where peace surpasses all understanding.

This is the durable peace that I come home to even when I am consumed by fear, frustration, or heartache from the world. A durable peace which prevents my overreactions and allows me to treat others and find support by them in ways that bring harmony into the world.

Reclaiming time

I know it is not realistic for others to follow my stillness routine. My 24 hours is different than the next person who has different responsibilities than me. Yet whether it is 10 minutes, 30, 60 or longer, each of us can find our safe space. Look for it. I know you will find it. And when you do, be grateful not for what you do not have – quantity and quality of space or material stuff – peace will change the perspective. If you are having difficulty summoning up gratitude, help others. I guarantee you someone has less than you.

Guard whatever space and time you have.

While the contents of this world are everchanging, the sun still shines, the stars still twinkle, the waves of the lake and river still flow. Just like the world in all its vastness, I am but a drop or speck that moves and changes in that lake or sky of human culture. I can only control that which is in my power.

I continue to reclaim what I have given over. For example, I turn off all notifications from 5 pm to 7 am from the limited media I still have activated including email. I do not answer the phone after 8 pm and not before 7 am or 10 am on weekends. The telephone and text are only available for my husband and sons on off hours who have specific notification sounds, otherwise, I do not look at my phone or iPad after 9 pm. I find other ways to connect with others such as through my writing. You have an artistic endeavor that may connect others to you. Explore it!

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Mother Teresa, Saint

“Peace is its own reward.” Mahatma Gandhi, Political Ethicist

Ours is a continuous journey that begins in our wakefulness observing the stillness we create in our individual space in pursuit of a durable peace that brings harmony to mind, body, and spirit. I hope you start your own journey today. It will help you to release yourself from the toxicity of people and elements of the world. In the words of my friend, “do not allow anyone to steal your peace.”

In Closing

Last week Dictionary.com announced its word of the year for 2021: Allyship

A wonderful source to explore allyship is a project created by @amelielamont www.guidetoallyship.com. If you find this guide useful, buy her a cup of coffee like I did.

“Everyone has the right to peaceful coexistence, the basic personal freedoms, the alleviation of suffering, and the opportunity to lead a productive life.” Jimmy Carter, 39th U.S. President, 2002 Nobel Peace Prize

Peace,

Blog - Owl Photo

This post is dedicated to my friend, Anne-Marie.

	jrtiveson on January, the new Lent
	Anita Backus Pepper on Marinating, in the words
	passion’s pric… on Marinating, in the words
	Marinating, in the w… on January, the new Lent
	Marinating, in the w… on Discipline, a gift to mys…

Ditching social media to concentrate on my physical health.

Ditching social media to re-establish the daily practice of disenging for a calm mind.

Ditching social media to build up my spirit for an active life.

Love

Peace,

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY POETRY BLOG, THEOWLPOET.COM AT HTTPS://THEOWLPOET.COM/

Share this:

Striking the impulsive balance

Solitude and creativity

Daily appointments

Peace,

Please check out my poetry blog, TheOwlPoet.com at https://theowlpoet.com/

Share this:

How do we find the way to forgive?

After all, we are human.

A worthy response

The burden of all that ‘stuff’

January is giving up all that ‘stuff’

All worthy endeavors

Peace and love in the New Year!

Share this:

Weighing Discipline

How are we able to forgive?

Forgiveness is an essential part of life.

Peace,

Share this:

2024 comes with a new theme for the New Year – Weighing Today in the Balance.

Weighing today in the balance is carefully assessing the merits of how we spend our day.

Peace and Love in the New Year!

Share this:

A Christmas Letter, gratitude

Why am I being so transparent with my health and the gratitude I am feeling for my family and my community?

In closing,

Why is the Christmas holiday season celebrated at the end of the year?

Peace,

Share this:

Journaling, a fresh perspective

Journaling, the goal setting for healing

Healing will make you realize this:

I would also add my own bullet-points:

Peace, writing my way through it

Share this:

Peace,

Share this:

Why do I share these words publicly?

What outcome am I hoping for?

What emotions am I experiencing?

What unmet needs am I trying to meet?

2024 – Words to live by

Vulnerability

Worthy

Forgiveness

Vulnerability. Worthy. Forgiveness.

Peace,

Share this:

Peace,

Share this:

Book Review: maybe, written by Kobi Yamada and illustrated by Gabriella Barouch

From inside the front book jacket:

The beautiful book, maybe earns a heartfelt 5-Hoot Rating!

Peace,

Share this:

Book Review: Atlas of the Heart, by Brene’ Brown Phd, MSW

From the inside front book jacket:

Bene’ Brown’s, Atlas of the Heart earns an enthusiastic 5-Hoot Rating!

Peace,

Share this:

On the nature trail

Meeting nature

Nature walks are the best therapy drug.

Peace,

Share this:

Carmela, my walking companion.

Walking product review #1: No Pull Harness Lead by Harness Lead

Walking product review #2: DogBuddy Portable Dog Poop Scooper

My walking essentials.

Peace,

Share this:

Patience

What can we learn from these interactions?